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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Monday, January 30, 2006

Lady Bracknell is surprised by a gentleman

While making polite conversation with a bearded gentleman of whom she had no prior knowledge at an omnibus stop last Friday afternoon, Lady Bracknell was most surprised to hear him ask,

"Aren't you a friend of Mr D, who used to work in Liverpool, but who is now working in Portsmouth?"

Lady Bracknell confirmed that she is indeed well-acquainted with the charming Mr D, but that she was at a loss to imagine how the bearded gentleman could possibly have divined that fact.

"Oh, he described you to me", came the response.

Unless Lady Bracknell misses her guess, she believes there can be only two logical explanations for her having been so easily recognised.

Either Mr D's powers of description are more than ordinarily impressive, or Lady Bracknell is so distinctive in appearance that even a cursory description of her will serve to brand an image so firmly in the cerebral cortex of its recipient that she could never be mistaken for anybody else.

Lady Bracknell is not convinced that this is a good thing....

6 Comments:

Blogger marmiteboy said...

This is easily explained Lady B.

Youi are the only Lady of a breeding in your fair city wot cuts a dash wiv such posh sticks and glasses.

See no mystery at all.

8:17 pm  
Anonymous Chris Mac said...

Ah, My Lady. Perhaps it is because your beauty transcends all mortal reason of thought. I just know that should out paths ever cross I would know who you were upon the instant. Such enigmatic charm and elegance could only belong to one.

8:29 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell regrets having to disappoint Mr Mac. But it would be remiss of her to allow him to continue to believe that she has beauty which "transcends all mortal reason of thought".

Nothing could be further from the truth.

9:35 pm  
Blogger stella said...

Funnily enough Lady B, I was on the train to work the other day and you sprang to mind - I saw a woman with some seriously fantastic specs AND a classy looking walking stick!

I thought about approaching and asking if it was in fact your fair self, but realised it was most unlikely that you'd be in the same country, let alone on the same train, as me.

Unless you'd popped across to the other side of the world to escape the masses of people who recognise you in the UK of course.

Do let me know if that's ever the case!!

3:07 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell regrets to report that she is unlikely ever to be fit enough to travel to the Antipodes.

Nevertheless, she is gratified to hear that she is not alone in her fondness for idiosyncratic stick and spectacle combinations.

And she promises that she will make every effort to be fit enough to meet up with Ms Stella when Stella is engaged in her forthcoming UK tour.

6:56 pm  
Blogger Melbamae said...

Excuse me for butting in, but I must correct the divine Lady Bracknell in her response to Chris Mac.

I'm afraid Lady Bracknell is completely unaware of how her public sees her. Dare I say how anyone with an ounce of taste and refinement would see her?

Mr. Mac's observations are indeed accurate.

She is nothing short of beautiful internally and externally. Obviously as bright as our dear Lady is there are some facts which she is simply unable to absorb, and it is up to us, her adoring public, to re-educate her on this matter.

8:30 pm  

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