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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

"But there is good news yet to hear"

Lady Bracknell ventured this afternoon into the back garden of Bracknell Towers. This is not a task she undertakes very often, the staircase being steep and somewhat treacherous.

But she is happy to report that the object which, from the vantage point of her first floor window, she had taken to be the sad remains of one of the local flock of collared doves, is, in point of fact, merely a somewhat soiled plastic milk bottle.

Lady Bracknell's annual eye test will take place next month.


Blogger Gimpy Mumpy said...

Has the dear Lady B been partaking of pain relieving medications or of strong spirits?
I remember while in a morphine haze gazing up and out the window at the trees. The many faces of the figures in the trees were a bit disconcerting. :)

12:13 am  
Blogger marmiteboy said...

Is this just an excuse for the good Lady to partake in the purchase of even more posh specs?

4:26 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell can only dream of being under the influence of strong spirits these days. Sadly, the imbibing of mother's ruin reacts very badly with her diabetes medication.

She can confirm, however, that even when one knows that the "dead bird" is really a milk bottle, it still looks like a dead bird when viewed from the window of her bed chamber.

5:08 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell will wager that Young Master Marmite will not be able to guess what the parcel she received today contained..... ;-)

5:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I trust that her ladyship's spectacle frames are suitably fashion-co-ordinated with her walking sticks. To clash would be most unseemly.

5:46 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell can assure her anonymous guest that she takes great care to colour co-ordinate her walking sticks with her spectacle frames.

To do any less would risk disappointing her public....

7:07 pm  
Anonymous Genna said...

Those milk bottles are slippery coves, can't trust the blighters, absolute showers, hanging around gardens masquerading as pigeons.

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Chris Mac said...

I understand Lady B. I once thought I saw my deceased Uncle crouched below a railway sidling. It turned out to be two upturned crates. Eccentricity is a scourge of us aristocrats y'know?

12:29 am  

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