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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Anyone fancy an awesome grip?

Some time ago, Lady Bracknell prevailed upon her editor to use the computing device to purchase on her behalf a humorous garment from The Gimp Store. In recognition of Lady Bracknell's prior purchase - or, rather more probably, in the enthusiastic anticipation of encouraging further sales - the Gimp Store occasionally sends her email updates on their latest products.

One such email communication arrived yesterday. "New!", it cried. "The Gimp Store now has wheelchair rims and cool spoke doo dads!!". It transpires that the wheelchair rim covers (which have, apparently, "an Awesome Grip") are available made from "selected exquisite leathers", in faux leather, and in "a variety of luxurious fabrics". Sensibly, the Gimp Store protect their photographs so that they can not be copied and pasted. Readers wishing to see just how cool (to utilise the modern argot) these rims are, will need to follow this link.

Numbering, as she does, several wheelie crips amongst her closest friends, Lady Bracknell forwarded the information about the rim covers to them. She is not herself a wheelchair user, and hopes that she can therefore be forgiven for not fully understanding the practical issues involved. She very much appreciates her good friend Mr D's expert advice reproduced below, but confesses to a degree of disappointment that the rim covers would have such a limited application.


"The ever practical Mr D says that leather rims on wheels are only effective indoors. Outdoors in a British climate, they will come too close to the wet, the mud, and the grit. Wet, dirty and/or scratched leather is just no fun on the hands of the poor pusher. Indoors the pusher continues to require considerable vigilance in order to avoid coming close to any rough wall surfaces for fear of scratching the leather. Ultimately, this delightful fashion item is just that – a fashion item, to be worn only for display purposes in the safe confines of the catwalk (or equivalent – maybe a nightclub dance floor)."


Mr D and Lady Bracknell have not exchanged detailed communications for some time. Indeed, Mr D remained in blissful ignorance of the existence of this blog and thus did not know about her ladyship's recently augmented collection of handsome walking sticks. In directing Mr D (via the invaluable secretarial services of the editor) to the photographs of the sticks in question on the Clear Canes website, Lady Bracknell made the financially unfortunate discovery that Steve the Stick Man has recently extended his range to include coloured spiral twisted canes. When Lady Bracknell is next in funds (which will be at the end of the month) she suspects that she will not be able to resist ordering one of these in pink. Whether she will be able to resist the blue one as well remains to be seen....



4 Comments:

Blogger JustinR said...

Oh, i do like the look of the blue twisty sticks. Very nice indeed. Pink is not my colour, fortunately *Justin laughs - for no apparent reason other than being silly*.

I can concur that by the sound of the wheel leather rims, they are more suited to a night out, a posh function as it were. Akin to wearing a suit with a bow tie for those most important of occasions.

Imagine the job of chaning the rims though. Must take the best part of the day to do that I should wonder.

6:22 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell suspects that Justin has not realised that these are covers for wheelchair rims, not replacement rims.

According to the rubric on the Gimp Gear site, these covers "can be changed like your shoes and washed like your socks".

Lady Bracknell considers Justin's comparison of the rim covers with wearing a suit with a bow tie for a night out to be pleasingly apt.

10:48 pm  
Blogger marmiteboy said...

Rumours of Steve the Stick man buying a tropical island in the Ptheacific on the proceeds of stick purchases by the good lady have yet to be refuted.

2:38 pm  
Blogger Katie said...

Miss Katie would also like to draw her ladyship's attention to the sticks that Miss Katie's place of work Herts Action on Disability does as they are also of considerable value and highly sought after by the many clients and customers who walk through the doors of it's building on a daily basis.


If her ladyship is interested, Miss Katie is able to provide a list of walking sticks they provide by email, and a discount off the VAT price.

The most sought after stick in the range has to be a folding stick that pops out into stick form and comes in different colours too.

4:43 pm  

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