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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

In which we learn that Ouch! is not only a website

The editor, sharing as she does her employer's complete indifference to all things related to Christmas, has been passing the time over the last few days conducting ever more abstruse searches on the Interwebnet.

One of the more entertaining results of this searching is shown to the right, and should serve to resolve the eternal problem of what to buy for the editor-of-a-BBC-disability-website-who-has- everything.

Ouch! is described as a "voodoo it yourself toothpick holder". He is available in charcoal gray or oyster white and, when fully impaled, holds a total of 35 cocktail sticks/toothpicks. He can be purchased for a mere $5.99 from perpetualkid.com.

Whilst one might at first feel that it would be appropriate to applaud the editor for her generous impulses towards a certain Mr Rose, Lady Bracknell harbours a degree of doubt that a small, silicon object embedded with 35 sharp, pointy things is really the ideal gift for a man who has been tragically deprived of his sight. Tactile gifts are all very well, but her ladyship suspects that one ought - if one has any fondness at all for the blind recipient in question - to draw the line at items which, when experienced purely through the medium of touch, are likely to damage the fingertips. Lady Bracknell, who has no wish to inflict injury on Mr Rose, suggests instead an angora scarf of incomparable softness.

2 Comments:

Blogger Katie said...

Hmmm... Miss Katie wonders about her ladyship's sarcasm here but finds the preoffered cocktail stick holder amusing, but knowingand being an acquaintance Mr Rose and talking to him, Miss Katie would know that Mr Damon Rose would find it funny yet not amusing, but stranger things have been known to amuse him!

3:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lord knows I’m a voodoo child baby
I want to say one more last thing
I didn’t mean to take up all your sweet time
I’ll give it right back to ya one of these days

Hahaha

I said I didn’t mean to take up all your sweet time
I’ll give it right back one of these days

Oh yeah

If I don’t meet you no more in this world then uh
I’ll meet ya on the next one
And don’t be late
Don’t be late

’cause I’m a voodoo child voodoo child

10:12 pm  

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