Lady Bracknell's dream
In her dream, Lady Bracknell had been diagnosed as having a cancerous growth on one of her feet. Her ladyship's osteopath - a professional in whom she has placed much trust for the better part of a decade - had persuaded her to allow him to dispatch her humanely by way of lethal injection so that she might be spared the deterioration into madness which, he told her, would be the inevitable result of the spread of the cancer.
Having bid a formal adieu to her family members, Lady Bracknell set off, firm of purpose, to meet her end. As is ever the way with dreams, her osteopath's office had inexplicably moved from its current location to a room at the top of a flight of stairs in Lady Bracknell's old alma mater. Having spent some time threading through the corridors of her old educational establishment, Lady Bracknell finally arrived at the foot of said staircase only to encounter a senior member of staff from the days when she was in gainful employment. This individual, having recognised the strain which must have been evident in her ladyship's features, insisted on making her a cup of tea and "talking it through".
The upshot of this dialogue was that her ladyship decided that she now chose not to die before her time. The planned meeting with the osteopathic gentleman then ensued. Although he did agree to Lady Bracknell's decision, she could see that he was much angered at having been thwarted in his lethal purpose and she was unsure that he could be trusted to restrain his murderous tendencies during subsequent treatments. At this point, Lady Bracknell is relieved to report, she woke from her slumbers.
Regular readers who have been paying close attention will be aware that Lady Bracknell visits her osteopath this very afternoon. Although, in her heart of hearts, she knows that he will be both amused and sympathetic when she recounts her nightmare to him, and that he is unlikely to wish to kill her if only because she is, if nothing else, an extremely profitable client, she wonders if she should go armed?
So distressed is her ladyship by this dream that it is her current intention to remain awake indefinitely.
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