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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Friday, September 02, 2005

Lady Bracknell deigns to interact with her readers

Persons who had the great good fortune to purchase a copy of Lady Bracknell's Inimitable Guide to Effective Flirting whilst copies were still available will note that Lady Bracknell invited her readers to submit their compliments and questions care of her publishers.

She received a rather disturbing communication from a young person who signed himself simply, 'Paul'. (Lady Bracknell of course deplores the modern practice of over familiarity engendered by the casual introduction of the use of Christian names at an unsuitably early juncture in formal relationships. Nevertheless, she feels that it would be wrong to withdraw her kind offer of assistance purely because a correspondent has committed a social solecism, albeit one of considerable magnitude.)

The gentleman in question expressed his concern thus:

"Lady Bracknell's advice for young gentlemen with occular deficiencies, whilst edifying, does nothing to ease the problems of my ongoing liaison with a floor mop."

Lady Bracknell was shocked to the core by the implications of this statement. She sternly advised the gentleman in question that she could think of no acceptable explanation for his ever having had cause to find himself in the same room as a cleaning implement.


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