A sample of Lady Bracknell's earlier work
She believes that those who did not have the good fortune to acquire their own copy of her Inimitable Guide to Effective Flirting (the print run was short, and the shelves of reputable book vendors quickly emptied), might welcome this opportunity to peruse some choice extracts from the volume. Lady Bracknell is confident that the following passages will provide the reader with a clear impression of the overall tenor of her work, and of her scrupulous regard for the importance of stringent and comprehensive research.
“Imagine Lady Bracknell’s horror on discovering that all the existing treatises on the subject of flirting have entirely missed the point!! Should the reader of this slim but informative volume choose to replicate Lady Bracknell’s searches in order to corroborate her findings, he will discover that flirting – far from being recognised as a universal method of improving interaction between two persons on a social, commercial, or professional level – is now portrayed as being useful only as a method of getting one’s leg over. (Lady Bracknell is unsure of the exact meaning of this phrase, but is prepared to wager the contents of her reticule that it conveys something of an irredeemably vulgar nature.)”
“Gentlemen must use their own discretion when considering flirting with members of the lower orders. Lady Bracknell does not condone the taking of physical or moral advantage over servant girls, no matter how equine the visages of a young gentleman’s sisters’ friends. Lady Bracknell would point out that good parlour maids are not so easy to replace as they once were.”
“In her youth, Lady Bracknell would have asserted that eye contact is crucial to successful flirting. Lady Bracknell has the reluctance proper to one of her social standing to re-examine those opinions which she formed whilst young. Indeed, she has often remarked on the effort of thought which can be avoided by simply adhering to the opinions of one’s mother and grandmother in all things. Lady Bracknell does not, as a general rule, hold with ‘progress’.”