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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Lady Bracknell has never had any professional involvement in displaying items for retail sale. Nevertheless, she is aware of the basic principle that, to maximise customer interest, it is prudent to display objects to their best advantage. Lighting is, she understands, important. As is utilising a plain background which will not detract from the character and detail of the item one wishes to sell. This is hardly rocket science. Nor, given the fact that we are all consumers ourselves, is it some manner of arcane mystery known only to the enlightened cognoscenti.

The photograph above is taken direct from an ebay listing. Is it for a rather unattractive item of floral clothing which risks exposing the wearer to comment on her resemblance to a country cottage sofa? And from whence do the mysterious bumps and curves originate?

Readers with exceptional eyesight may eventually be able to make out the item being offered for sale (although Lady Bracknell doubts that they will get a clear idea of its detail, or of the calibre of the materials from which it was produced.)

Yes, this photograph is intended to display a vintage necklace! (A further clue for those who are still struggling to make it out is that the necklace is black with gold beads.)

Lady Bracknell confesses that she has difficulty in imagining what can have persuaded the seller that "displaying" this rather plain necklace against so vibrant and distracting a background would be the ideal method of producing the highest possible final bid on the auction.


Blogger marmiteboy said...

Marmiteboy has not long had his lunch and finds this wanton display of floralness rather indecent. One can just see the necklace but it is somewhat overawed by the horrendous pattern. I trust Lady Bracknell wasn't too traumatised one coming across it without warning. Maybe it was this that caused her to stumble the other day?

4:01 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never used ebay my lady. I know I'm a freak. But clearly not as freaky and woefully devoid of taste as some are who advertise their wares there, as you have clearly shown. Thankyou m'lady, I shall now continue to avoid ebay.

4:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Surely this is an advertisement for an article of Elton John's cast-off clothing?

5:25 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Mr Mac ought not to permit this one bizarre example from amongst hundreds of thousands of current live auctions to put him off the wonderful world of ebay.

Lady Bracknell - through the good offices of the editor's skills with the computing device - has made several hundred purchases from ebay over the years.

Indeed, since investing in a broadband connection, she has developed considerable skill in bidding in the final seconds so as to ensure the lowest possible price.

5:35 pm  
Blogger Gimpy Mumpy said...

Oh! Ugh! My eyes!!

1:47 am  

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