Just singin' (and whackin') in the rain.
- there are some very strange things indeed on the interwebnet; and
- the Editor seems fated to find all of them in the course of carrying out searches of an entirely innocent nature.
As a case in point, whilst idly trawling Google for "walking stick stand", the Editor found this umbrella. Which is to say that she found something which looks like an umbrella and which, indeed, performs the functions of an umbrella (protecting the user from rain, and so forth), but which is, in point of fact, a weapon. One which "whacks just as strong as a steel pipe" but which "doesn't arouse suspicion", and doesn't attract any "strange looks if carried by an able-bodied person". Unlike, presumably, a steel pipe.
Tom Kurz (whoever he is) carries his with him on aeroplanes "and has never had anyone question him about it". Lady Bracknell, although an infrequent flyer herself, has no doubt that some persons who travel by air can be very irritating. Whether this would be sufficient provocation to hit them with something as strong as a steel pipe, though, is open to doubt. In fact, one would probably risk lengthy incarceration should one venture to so much as prod them with the tip of one's umbrella.
Potential purchasers of this exceedingly dubious item - "Do you know how to strike with a sturdy stick? If you do, you know all you need to know..." - will no doubt be pleased to know that the frame is "warranted" not to break under normal use. However, they may wish to note that the warranty in question doesn't extend to actions such as throwing the umbrella under a train or bulldozer, or throwing it into a wood chipper. Although quite why they should feel the urge to do any of those things with it (unless they are on the run from law enforcement officials after running amok on an aeroplane) is beyond Lady Bracknell's capacity to imagine.