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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Shades of disability

Some years ago, Lady Bracknell was asked whether she could assist in devising the disabled persons' equivalent of the pink and grey pounds. (In case any of her readers is unaware of the relevant statistic, disabled persons in the United Kingdom have £80 billion to spend per annum. It is, of course, something of a challenge to persuade retailers to recognise how much money they are turning away by refusing to make their shops and websites accessible, which is why the "disabled pound" was made much of when Part III of the Disability Discrimination Act came into force in October 2004.)

Try as she might, Lady Bracknell was unable to provide any suggestions which found favour with her interlocutor. Nevertheless, the issue continues - if only very occasionally - to haunt her.

However, the mystery is now solved! According to the photograph on the right, disability is a particularly virulent shade of cerise! (It would appear that disability is only cerise for disabled persons who do not travel abroad: it may be that international jet-setting disabled persons have their own colour. Although why this should be the case, Lady Bracknell really has not the slightest idea.)

Cerise being a shade of pink, it is possible that the non-heterosexual community will feel that we are simply copying them, and may therefore pour scorn on our lack of originality. But Lady Bracknell does not make the rules: she merely reports them. Clearly, a decision has been made in high places that disabled persons' life experiences are most accurately reflected by glossy cerise. Why else would unpleasant little tubes of cosmetic goop* be so labelled?

*Lady Bracknell rather hopes that the majority of her readers are of the type who would have no truck with (ahem) "Sparkle Babe Sparkler Colors" (sic), and no wish whatsoever to either "mix and match" them or "glide them over your favourite lip color**". However, as Dude the chauffeur always likes to look presentable when in uniform, she feels duty bound to point out that these substances may be purchased here.

**Note the baffling mixture of UK English and US English spelling conventions in this phrase. Lady Bracknell would have expected either "favourite" and "colour" or "favorite" and "color". She would, of course, always much prefer the former.


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