.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Bracknell Towers

Friday, February 16, 2007

Lady Bracknell went to market

It would seem that children these days can barely set foot outside the front door unless armed with the capacity to make telephone calls, listen to what they fondly believe to be music, and slay alien invaders. What possible need, then, can they have for the games of yesteryear? (Always assuming they could be persuaded to communicate with their elders in anything more than a series of vulgar and inarticulate grunts, of course.)


It has occurred to Lady Bracknell that, in this era of hand-held electronic devices, the vast majority of which are prone to emitting annoying pinging noises should one so much as look askance at them, some of the old methods of passing the time on long journeys by motor car risk being lost for ever.


When Lady Bracknell was a child, the tedium of such journeys was relieved not only by rousing family sing-songs (who will join Lady Bracknell in a chorus of "I've got sixpence"?) but also by a variety of games which were intended to exercise either the intellect or the memory. (I Spy, whilst not without its uses when a family is stationary, can become problematic when played in a moving vehicle, given that the object spied has a tendency to disappear into the distance at considerable speed. Amongst suspicious siblings, this fact can lead to unfortunate accusations of the, "There was no llama in that field we passed a mile ago. You've made that up. Mama! Cedric is cheating again!" variety.)

The Parson's Cat enjoyed brief popularity in the Bracknell family, but the favourite by a long chalk was I Went To Market.

Fearing the loss of this harmless but amusing pastime, Lady Bracknell has decided to revive it in blog format. Those of her loyal readers who wish to play are asked to refrain from cheating by copying and pasting the last player's response, and then merely adding a purchase of their own right at the very end. The game is a test of memory, after all.


Lady Bracknell will make the first move:


I went to market and I bought an aardvark.

62 Comments:

Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark and a brontosaurus

8:25 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus and a cribbage board.

9:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board and a deck of cards.

10:16 pm  
Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board and a dibbler. I did NOT, however, buy any of these: http://www.collectorsaddition.com/whimsiclay.htm

10:28 pm  
Anonymous kellyd said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, and a doughnut.

10:43 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus a cribbage board and a DRC DVD...

11:56 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD and ..... an egg-timer.

8:06 am  
Blogger The Goldfish said...

I went to market and I bought an aadvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer and an inflatable viking.

I suppose the modern version would be I logged onto eBay and I bought...

10:24 am  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

I went to the market and bought an aarkvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, something else with "d", which I have forgotten, a DRC DVD, an egg timer and a fake moustache!

10:39 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

It would seem that the Goldfish either has not understood the rules of the game, or has forgotten the order of the letters in the alphabet. She is, therefore, unfortunately, "out".

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache and a garden gnome.

12:01 pm  
Blogger The Goldfish said...

Oh. Oops! We never did it alphabetically, I didn't notice. It makes more sense as a game now than it did throughout my childhood. :-)

12:46 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, and a hobbyhorse.

1:09 pm  
Anonymous kellyd said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, and a harpsichord.

2:28 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

Lady Bracknell, it is with respect to yourself and to Ms Goldfish that I query the presence of four "D"s in your alphabet.

The ninth item on the list should indeed start with an "I", as in The Goldfish's submission.

However, the repetition of D and the missing F, G, and H have rendered me far too confused to either argue the point or join in.

2:59 pm  
Anonymous Alexandra said...

Don't blame Goldfish. I never even heard of this game (perhaps it's a purely English game), so I would have made the same mistake. And how come you get to repeat letters? And what's a "dibbler"? Even so, I wish to give it a try...

I went to market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome and a handsome hard hat.

3:52 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

There are two ways of playing the game. It either takes 26 "goes" in total, or 26 x the number of players. (This is the more advanced method, for confident players.)

As a result of the delay in publishing "goes" occasioned by The Editor being away from the computing device for activities such as sleeping and eating, the current game is now a combination of both methods. One still may not skip letters altogether, though.


I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat and an iguana.

(Lady Bracknell seems to be getting all the vowels...)

4:20 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana and a Jolly Roger.

10:03 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Can we have two goes? Ruling, please!

8:43 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Certainly. As long as they aren't consecutive, and you use the next appropriate letter.

8:48 am  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

I only knew a version of that game going "I am packing my suitcase and I'll take with me....." I was in non alphabetical order and with growing age the items got more and more absurd. The game is also one of my colleague's favourite means to check if the participants of his sign language classes have improved on their vocabulary.
Well, I went to the market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut,a DVD an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse playing the harpischord while wearing a handsome hard hat, an iguana and a jellyfish.

8:55 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an igunana, a jellyfish and a knitting pattern.

12:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Bloggingmone & Lady B...you are disqualificated for missing out Jolly Roger...Shiver me timbers :)

8:04 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

How shocking! Yes, Lady Bracknell and Mone are definitely out of the game.

8:08 pm  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

Ma’am

In the interest of accuracy, and lest any poor trusting soul be led astray by the contribution of Master or Mistress A Nonymous above, I feel I should point out that one never need attend the local bazaar in order to purchase a DRC DVD.

Unless one has such a pressing need for said artefact that the postal delay is untenable, all DRC DVDs are available for free from here .

Respectfully

Dude

PS One does not need a plethora of electronic novelties to be antisocial. I was equally inarticulate and incommunicative whenever I had my head buried in a rollicking Malcolm Saville book.

PPS The parson’s cat is an affectionate cat…

8:35 am  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an igunana, a jolly roger, jellyfish, a knitting pattern and a latchet hook.

5:55 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an igunana, a jolly roger, jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook and a mermaid.

7:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an igunana, a jolly roger, jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid and a newspaper...

I admit to copying and pasting - but I swear it is just a "reasonable adjustment" to the rules :)

9:02 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:13 pm  
Blogger melbamae said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper and an ostrich.

11:10 pm  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a DRC DVD, a doughnut, an egg-timer, a false moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsichord, a handsome hard hat, an igunana, a jolly roger, jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, and an orange.

2:03 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

In a repetition of her deleted comment (only this time with the correct link), Lady Bracknell wishes to congtaulate those who are still in the game. Yes, even those who are cutting and pasting as a reasonable adjustment.

This will explain why it is imperative that the game must now be played right through to z. (For which Lady Bracknell suggests that zebu be used, in an homage to Lisa Simpson.)

8:16 am  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

Right... I'm out!!! *sigh*
I remember I did not have any idea what a Jolly Roger was and looked it up in my dictionary - only to forget it in the end!!!

1:32 pm  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange and .... a purple perambulator.

2:54 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Blogging Mone is in good company.

In any event, she is to be applauded for playing the game in a foreign language.

4:44 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator and a quill pen.

9:39 pm  
Blogger melbamae said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a bontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange a purple perambulator and a quant.

10:52 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell is thrilled to note that Melbamae has joined the fray.

Would she, however, do Lady Bracknell the great kindness of explaining what a quant is?

12:56 pm  
Blogger seahorse said...

I went to market and cut and pasted wantonly and pretended to buy an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange a purple perambulator, a quant and a rather resplendent robe.
Is a dibbler something rude?

8:37 pm  
Blogger seahorse said...

Curiousity got the better of me. This is a dibbler...

http://www.australianfauna.com/dibbler.php

Who would have thought it?

A quant is an abbreviation for a type of surveyor. Are abbreviations allowed?

8:42 pm  
Blogger melbamae said...

A quant my dear Lady Bracknell is: "a pole with a disk near the end, for propelling a small boat: the disk prevents sinking in the mud. "to propel a boat with a quant" (Latin. contus Greek, kontos boat pole).

Oh the honour of conveying an unknown word to her Ladyship!! I am not worthy!

10:05 pm  
Blogger Lily said...

I went to market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange a purple perambulator, a quant, a rather resplendent robe and a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia.

10:30 pm  
Anonymous Dame Honria Glossop said...

I went to market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange a purple perambulator, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia and a turquose trapeziod trestle table.

8:59 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Oh, well played, Dame Honoria!!

Lady Bracknell is much gratified by the degree of ingenuity (not to mention alliteration) demonstrated by players in the latter stages of the game.

Only six more letters to go!

9:08 pm  
Blogger seahorse said...

I once again shamelessly cut and pasted and hope those with better memories do allow for those of us with porridge minds. I went to market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange a purple perambulator, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia and a turquose trapeziod trestle table, and an utterly useless ukelele (no strings, alas).

11:18 pm  
Blogger melbamae said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple preambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquose, trapizoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele and a vain voluptuous vamp.

8:10 am  
Anonymous Ageing Juvenile Binky Huckabuck said...

I went to market and bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquose trapeziod trestle table, and an utterly useless ukelele (no strings, alas) and a violent violet volestrangler.

And before anybody asks, if you're not old enough to remember "Round The Horne", you wouldn't understand.

8:54 am  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobby horse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple preambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquose, trapizoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele, a vain voluptuous vamp, a violent violet volestrangler and a wet, wild, windswept, wandering woodcutter (a girl can dream)

4:49 pm  
Blogger seahorse said...

Come on everyone! I have a problem with not finishing things. This is admittedly my problem, and not anyone else's. But the idea of this game not coming to fruition after so much fun and frivolity all round...well it quite upsets me.

6:01 pm  
Blogger melbamae said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquose, trapizoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele, a vain voluptuous vamp, a violent, violet volestrangler a wet, wild, windswept woodcutter and a xenophobic, xanthic skinned, xylophonist.

10:18 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Very well played indeed, Melbamae!

12:17 pm  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquose trapezoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele, a vain voluptuous vamp, a violent, violet volestrangler a wet, wild, windswept woodcutter, a xenophobic, xanthic skinned, xylophonist and a zebu (one feels there should be a fanfare).

3:59 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

The game has taken a dramatic turn in its final moments.

Dame Glossop is, unfortunately, now "out", having apparently forgotten - in her impatience to finish - that the letter x is followed by the letter y...

7:00 pm  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

To quote another Simpson, Doh!

(I wanted to use "yellowhammer").

9:17 pm  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

Ma'am

I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquoise trapezoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele, a vain voluptuous vamp, a violent, violet volestrangler, a wet, wild, windswept woodcutter, a xenophobic, xanthic skinned, xylophonist and a yak.

Do I get an extra point for spotting that EVERYONE has spelt "turquoise" incorrectly?

Respectfully

Dude

1:34 am  
Anonymous Dame Honotia Glossop said...

No Dude, you lose a point. No-one likes a Smartass.

Someone finish it!

8:40 pm  
Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

Sorry for dropping out of the game after inserting a dibbler early on (defunct hard drive, grrrrrrrrrr). Thanks to Seahorse, I now know two definitions of dibbler. What I had in mind was the stick used to make neat holes in the earth in which to plant seeds. But perhaps the market had a livestock section.

10:31 pm  
Blogger seahorse said...

I was going to finish it and then I came over all polite. A bit like the angst-ridden moment where the last After Eight mint twinkles from the plate at the dinner party table (is my mind playing tricks or was there a naff 80s ad featuring such a moment with the aforementioned delectable and moreish wafer thin mint? Hands a hovering, everyone just too too polite). I can't finish it. Someone else will have to. And earlier I said I had a problem with NOT finishing things.

11:24 pm  
Anonymous Mrs Ivy Trellis of North Wales said...

Mornington Crescent!

11:41 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell will introduce another parlour game shortly, but only when this one is finished.

She therefore encourages the Seahorse to make the final play, and promises her that no-one will think it impolite of her to have done so.

10:25 am  
Blogger seahorse said...

Deep intake of breath. I went to market and I bought an aardvark, a brontosaurus, a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a dibbler, a doughnut, a DRC DVD, an egg-timer, a fake moustache, a garden gnome, a hobbyhorse, a harpsicord, a handsome hard hat, an iguana, a jolly roger, a jellyfish, a knitting pattern, a latchet hook, a mermaid, a newspaper, an ostrich, an orange, a purple perambulator, a quill pen, a quant, a rather resplendent robe, a suitcase on wheels in which to stuff as much of the above as possible to avoid getting a strangulated hernia, a turquoise trapezoid trestle table, an utterly useless ukelele, a vain voluptuous vamp, a violent, violet volestrangler, a wet, wild, windswept woodcutter, a xenophobic, xanthic skinned, xylophonist, a yak and a zebu. Oh the relief. Thank you.

8:01 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Very well done to all who took part. Lady Bracknell's favourite contribution is the "utterly useless ukelele".

A new game will be introduced shortly.

10:38 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dearie me -- did no one ever notice that CharlesDawson's quill pen somehow got mislaid in subsequent stages of this game?

--Andrea
http://reunifygally.wordpress.com

4:37 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home