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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

We apologise for the break in transmission

Readers who have been paying attention will be aware that Lady Bracknell's editor has been granted exceptional leave of absence by her employer in response to a summons from the Palace to attend this Friday and receive her MBE medal (replacement value for insurance purposes: £45).

As the editor will be departing later today and is not scheduled to return to Bracknell Towers until next Tuesday, Lady Bracknell will be effectively silenced during that period by dint of the fact that the computing device is as much of a mystery to her as are the workings of the internal combustion engine to her editor.

Demonstrating the want of character and fortitude which all too often typifies members of the lower orders, the editor spent much of yesterday evening threatening to spend the next week "hiding under the duvet" and expressing - to all who would listen - her fears at the potential havoc the trip might wreak on her enfeebled frame. Only after several hours of combined threats and blandishments from Young Master Marmite, the delightful Becca, and the inimitable Pop was she persuaded to retract her threats and agree to at least attempt the journey. Her facial expression this morning remains, however, somewhat reminiscent of that of a more than ordinarily nervous rabbit caught in the beam from the headlights of an approaching motor car.

She is disproportionately distressed by the fact that, having purchased - at considerable expense - powerful spare batteries for her digital camera, she now cannot remember where she put them for safe keeping. Despite her unfamiliarity with all things technological, Lady Bracknell is quietly confident that such batteries must be available for ready money from numerous retail outlets in London. That being the case, once the editor is safely returned to the bosom of Bracknell Towers, there is nothing more certain than that photographs of the celebrations will be appearing on these pages.

For the present, however, Lady Bracknell (and her editor) must bid au revoir to this blog's loyal readers. Normal service will resume towards the end of next week.


Blogger marmiteboy said...

I am glad to hear that The Editor has listened to her friends advice and will be in that London shortly. I am greatly looking forward to seeing The Editor on Friday and having a look at her new badge.

8:19 am  
Blogger wrinkled weasel said...

Best wishes for the days ahead. Bask in glory and flaunt the hat!

11:37 am  
Blogger Mary said...

Yay, have fun!

12:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have fun. Looking forward to seeing the photos!

1:37 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Safe journey there and back, and don't sit on The Hat!

6:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good wishes and happy journey to The Editor! I would also like to take this opportunity to thank her for reminding me where my own spare batteries are (i.e., in the small box beside me here on the desk). Without the reminder I should have been wondering where they'd gone within a week. No, really. Even though they're right here, in the small box beside me here on the desk.

6:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck! Nicj an ashtray for us!

8:39 pm  
Anonymous Sara said...

Break a leg, Lady B (not your own, of course, and anyway, it's just an expression).

I am very much looking forward to seeing The Hat.

5:28 pm  
Blogger Wilf said...

Do we have to call you Duchess of Princess now?

8:35 pm  

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