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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Thursday, November 02, 2006

A faux pas averted

This afternoon, Lady Bracknell's editor visited her hairdresser for her pre-MBE-investiture-ceremony haircut. (Apparently her hair needs a fortnight to lose that "just cut" look. Although quite why this matters when it is to be hidden at all times by a hat, Lady Bracknell is at a loss to understand.)

Regrettably, when visiting the hairdresser, the editor is exposed to glossy women's magazines of the type about which her employer holds Strong Views and will not permit to be brought over the threshold of Bracknell Towers.

While idling away the twenty minutes or so which are needed for her hair colourant to take full effect, the editor espied a photograph of these gloves, and was so much taken with them that - only slightly daunted by their price tag of £125 - she made a special effort to search for them on the interwebnet as soon as she arrived home.

Sometimes Lady Bracknell despairs of her editor. Bright colours are all very well, but there is really no call to combine quite so many of them in such a confined space. And they most definitely would not be suitable attire for the Palace!

Lady Bracknell is pleased to report that the gloves are currently out of stock in the editor's size. Given that the editor has the attention span of a more than ordinarily amnesiac gnat when it comes to the objects of her desire, it is to be hoped that, if so be as the gloves ever come back in to stock, she will by that time have forgotten that she ever lusted after them.

16 Comments:

Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

I think The Editor should continue to hunt down the gloves, buy them, and wear them in a very dark place. When all is pitch black, The Editor might bring up a hand in front of her face and see whether or not she can still see it. I suspect in those gloves, the mere absence of any and all light sources would be no impediment.

Alternatively, wear them out in public, wave at a friend* and see how many passersby turn queasy from the effect.

*should a friend not hove into view in a timely manner, wave at a total stranger just to make the experiment.

Those gloves have serious fun potential.....

11:57 pm  
Blogger spymum said...

I am afraid I have no sympathy with Lady Bracknells opinion on these (yes, somewhat colourful) gloves, and am concerned that she is lacking in true aristocratic sensitivity. These gloves are an object of true beauty, and if I owned them I would place them in a display case, for all my artistic friends to admire.

The editor is to be commended on her exquisite taste and artistically acute eye!

PS:- are they Paul Smith?!

11:40 am  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I am not anything of a style guru myself, being an infrequent buyer even from my main haute couture suppliers: Oxfam, Sue Ryder, the British Red Cross, the RSPCA et al, but I do rather wonder if these gloves wouldn't add that certain je ne sais quoi to the outfits from razzberry previously mentioned by her Ladyship? I feel they would set off the purple drapery a treat.

11:46 am  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

PS Add a pair of those trainers with flashing lights in the heels and her Ladyship's Editor will stop the traffic.

11:47 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

The gloves are indeed by Paul Smith, and further investigation of that gentleman's website reveals that he is offering a variety of accessories (scarves, bags &c) in the same pattern.

Mr Dawson, Lady Bracknell is given to understand that the editor shared his opinion that the gloves would "set off the purple drapery a treat". And this despite the fact that she has already purchased a perfectly acceptable pair of purple suede gloves for that very purpose...

12:04 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I can just imagine the scene at the investiture:
HMQ [con brio]: Arise, Lady Bracknell's Editor MBE [psst!] where did you get those gloves??!

1:45 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Given our dear Queen's current state of health, Lady Bracknell rather suspects that the editor is more likely to be asked where she purchased her magnificent walking stick...

1:49 pm  
Blogger Agent Fang said...

A matching hat in those colours would be truly fantastic, don'tcha think?

1:50 pm  
Anonymous Dude said...

Ma'am

You may not have noticed from the rear passenger compartment (athough the editor may have spotted this as she sometimes shares the front seat on informal trips to the chippy) that my driving gloves do in no small way resemble those photgraphed here.

Although to be fair they started life as white chamois and have only been rendered thus by my unfortunate predeliction for various childrens candies and sherbert dips which I keep in plentiful supply under the dashboard to relieve the tedium of city centre traffic jams.

Would that my salary or uniform allowance were sufficient to enable me to purchase a new pair.

Dude

2:50 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Re Agent Fang's suggestion of a matching hat, Lady Bracknell is relieved that the editor had ordered her hat some weeks before she discovered that these gloves existed.

Although this bag is not unobjectionable.

4:40 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

The Dude should perhaps be careful what he wishes for...

4:41 pm  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

A handbag ?

(sorry, couldn't resist it).

5:57 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell experienced a moment's worry when the editor (displaying remarkable tenacity)tracked down a pair of the gloves on ebay.

Fortunately, they are the wrong size.

11:53 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I had forgotten the walking-stick. Would Lady Bracknell indulge the fervent wish of at least one humble fan and grant us a photo of the particular stick with which the Editor is planning to complete her tout ensemble? Has it got sparkles?

9:26 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell has graciously permitted the editor to borrow the purple stick of which a photograph appears in this post.

11:42 am  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I am much obliged to your ladyship.

3:44 pm  

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