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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Puppy Love

After an arduous week at work, Lady Bracknell's editor often relaxes at the weekend by pottering around the Interwebnet. Although the attractions of this pastime are somewhat mystifying to her ladyship, she confesses that there are occasions when the editor happens upon products which are sufficiently strange or intriguing to warrant a mention in the pages of this blog.

The bizarre creation pictured to the right may be purchased from Wrapables.com. Lady Bracknell, who is struggling to find words of her own to convey the purpose of the object, is reduced to quoting the description from the site in its entirety:

"These Eye Pillows are pretty and practical. Use chilled to soothe tired eyes and reduce eye puffiness. Warm slightly to use as a dream pillow or relieve sinus pressure. Made with buttery soft chenille and filled with lavender, calming chamomile and gently weighted with flax seed. Each sleeps in its own white organza drawstring bag for giving as a gift or use for storage."

Lady Bracknell, who was prone to sick headaches in her younger days, is familiar with cooling eye masks. She is also prepared to be persuaded that the application of warmth would be beneficial to persons whose sinuses are inflamed. She is as susceptible as the next aristocrat to the tactile pleasures of chenille, and she freely admits that the panda bear of her earliest infancy is still her constant companion.

Nevertheless, she considers the prospect of relaxing with a small, plush puppy balanced precariously on the upper regions of her face to be utterly preposterous. Indeed, she would go so far as to describe the photograph above as being slightly disturbing. Blue gel eyemasks may not be things of beauty, but they are at least visibly appropriate to their purpose. Combining an eyemask with what the young Lady Bracknell and her brothers would have called a "cuddly" strikes her as a highly peculiar notion.

(There are many items on the Wrapables site which are appealing, however. Lady Bracknell recommends, for example, that Marmite Boy equip himself with a self-esteem cereal bowl.)

5 Comments:

Anonymous Chris Mac said...

I do note with interest how very occasionally my Lady indulges in an entry aimed primarily at her female readership. I would suggest this is very much a 'girly' entry and feel I have no particular interest in the eccentricities of ladies whom if I may I be so bold, appear as equally ludicrous with two sliced cucumbers upon there minced pies, as the lady with the puppy does in your rather disturbing image. This despite me recently succumbing to the female lurking within me. Whilst passing a Bridal Boutique, I noticed the quite beautiful bridal gown displayed in the window. I inwardly went 'Awwwww', and imagery of brides, their maids and lavender scented loveliness filled my dizzy head. Perhaps in future such disquieting nods toward the bizarre world of transvestism, I will keep to myself.

11:05 pm  
Blogger The Gorse Fox said...

The Gorse Fox wonders if an old Hush Puppy would be as efficacious.

8:43 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Well, it's not as though it could look any more ridiculous...

11:46 am  
Blogger marmiteboy said...

I have my own real live wrapable here in Chez Marmite. Young Twiget, given the chance is apt, to lie across me bonce if I'm not careful. However cute this may seem to your Ladyship's readers, it is however impractical as Twiglet does not have the requisite cooling gel eminating from his pores (or paws for that matter).

I do like the bowls though.,

4:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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keep up the good work . I added a bookmark to you so I can come back formore reading

Thanks
your the man now dog.

2:53 pm  

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