Lady Bracknell's Theory of the Final Straw
She will be alluding to some of them today, but craves her readers’ temporary forbearance. The purpose of this exception to her ladyship’s general rule should shortly become clear.
Lady Bracknell experiences chronic pain of very considerable severity in her lower back, sacro-iliac joints, and upper left leg as the result of multiple injuries to her lumbar discs. Her mobility is also substantially impaired. She has type II diabetes, for which she takes various medications. This means that, amongst other considerations, she must always take care to carry some morsels of sustaining food with her in her capacious handbag when she leaves the house.
(Readers will no doubt be relieved to read that the previous paragraph contains about as much detail concerning her ladyship’s impairments as is ever likely to be made available in the public domain.)
Naturally, the combination of these conditions is somewhat challenging and results in Lady Bracknell’s stamina being severely limited. But she has lived with the first for sixteen years, and the second for the better part of five, and is accustomed to dealing with their effects.
However – and here we come to the point behind this unusual degree of medical detail – Lady Bracknell has a much more minor complaint which, in comparison to her more established and much more serious conditions, drives her to absolute distraction.
Lady Bracknell has seasonal eczema*, the itching from which comparatively trivial skin condition she finds utterly intolerable. It may seem strange that an individual who can live quite happily with two fairly major health problems should feel herself to be pushed to the brink of sanity by a few small patches of inflamed skin, but it is the undeniable truth.
A truth, moreover, about which Lady Bracknell has developed a theory. (It has been some little while since Lady Bracknell has propounded one of her theories in the pages of this blog, and she flatters herself that her readers may have been pining for a new one.)
Lady Bracknell’s Theory of The Final Straw is that there is almost no end to the constant physical or mental discomfort which an individual can learn to endure in a stolid, and occasionally cheerful, manner. However, should any minor symptom only occur from time to time, and should the individual in question therefore not be given the opportunity to become accustomed to its hourly impact, that will be the symptom which he or she finds impossible to bear.
Should any of her ladyship’s loyal and regular readers be able to provide illustrations from their own experience to support her theory, they are most welcome to do so via the useful comments facility.
*Lady Bracknell recommends Lush’s “Dream Cream” for the treatment of topical eczema. She has found it to be considerably more effective than any of the emollients which can be bought in a pharmacy, or which have been prescribed for her by her general practitioner.