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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


It would seem that the Editor's tireless assault on Google has, for once, had a positive result. No offensive weapons, thinly disguised as umbrellas; no crocheted replicas of woman's nether regions; no, this is what Lady Bracknell believes is sometimes vulgarly referred to as "paydirt".

Many years ago, Lady Bracknell's Editor was (fairly briefly) engaged to be married. Not wanting a gold engagement ring set with a tiny chip of diamond, the Editor engaged* the services of an artisan whom she had encountered at a craft fair. He fashioned unusual jewellery from silver and semi-precious stones, and had his workshop near (or quite possibly in) Thetford. The Editor much regrets that she can no longer remember the gentleman's name, but suspects that, in light of the fact that he was considerably advanced in years when she visited his workshop, he very probably retired from the business of jewellery-making some time ago.

Included in his catalogue of designs was a pair of silver peapod earrings in which the "peas" were fashioned from malachite beads. The Editor coveted a pair of said earrings but, given that she had to pay for her own engagement ring (a fact which really ought, in Lady Bracknell's opinion, to have served in itself as an Awful Warning to her), could not at the time find the funds to purchase them.

The Editor, having continued since those dark days to yearn sporadically for a pair of peapod earrings, bent the mighty Google to her indomitable will earlier today.

The earrings pictured left are, if anything, even more to her taste than the ones she saw all those years ago, and she will be making shift to purchase a pair the moment she has been relieved from the duty of taking dictation from her employer.

Having been directed to the web page containing the earrings themselves, the Editor discovered that they are being sold through Etsy. Billing itself as, "Your place to buy & sell all things handmade", Etsy is a beautifully-designed showcase for the wares of craftspersons around the globe.

The Editor has done little more than scratch the metaphorical surface of this cornucopia of delights as yet, but is looking forwards to many satisfying hours of perusing its pages. (Her one disappointment to date is that the humble shrew appears to be much under-rated globally as a design inspiration.)

Even Lady Bracknell (who is generally more than a little averse to animated tricks perpetrated by interwebnet designers whom she considers to be far too clever for their own good) was moderately impressed by the Geolocator page, and feels she could spend several happy minutes watching the bubbles of colour generated by the Editor's cursor on the Colors (sic) page.

Etsy gives every indication of having the capacity to provide a source of attractive gifts for such of one's friends and relatives who shrink from the mass-produced, whilst simultaneously giving the purchaser the satisfaction of knowing that his or her payment is going direct to whoever created the item chosen. And all without one ever having to leave the house. All in all, a most admirable venture.

*Lady Bracknell tried to resist the urge to use that particular word, but the temptation was too strong for her...

Post Script

Having now had the opportunity to search Etsy in more detail, the Editor is extremely pleased to announce that she has tracked down a craftsperson who produces resplendent knobs for wheelchairs. Unfortunately for Lady Bracknell's UK readers, however, the seller is currently only shipping said knobs within the US.


Blogger The Goldfish said...

Oh wow, I found a necklace representing Schmuck, my fish. I could wear it round my neck to remember him by while he is living in my Dad's pond! Or perhaps not.

We should be exploring Thetford pretty soon, I'll keep an eye out for likely candidates for the Editor's jeweller.

4:56 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

It's confounded me already - saw three things I liked in the first ten minutes, all in the United States, none of which shipped to the UK.

5:38 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Just found something which has made me laugh out loud: the differently-abled mouse for senior cats.


The Editor

5:59 pm  

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