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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Friday, March 16, 2007

In which Lady Bracknell prepares to shuffle off this mortal coil

Lady Bracknell, who remains very decidedly under the weather, visited her general practitioner's surgery again yesterday in her continuing search for an accurate diagnosis.

The surgery being one of those modern affairs housing a variety of medical professionals (most of whom appear to be related to one another, coincidentally), Lady Bracknell spoke to her third doctor in as many weeks.

Generally speaking, Lady Bracknell would list this gentleman as her favourite at the practice. In her experience, he does not assume that his patients are wholly ignorant of their own complaints, and he displays an unusual willingness to listen to what they have to say and to frame his comments to suit his understanding of each patient's intelligence and personality. However, readers may judge for themselves whether the comment reproduced below was well-advised.

Having received some bad news in relation to the damaging effects of her long-term use of anti-inflammatory painkillers, and the unwelcome conclusion that she will very probably, in the immediate or near future, need to eschew them in favour of opioids, Lady Bracknell (whose character is such that that, regardless of her interior distress, she would always tend to react in a jocular fashion rather than to weep, wail and rend her garments) replied that she has long been aware of the strong likelihood that her pain meds will be the death of her.

To which her doctor's immediate rejoinder was,

"Well, unless the diabetes gets you first".

7 Comments:

Blogger Charlesdawson said...

You should visit my GP. He happily suggested he referred me to a vet for a second opinion.

Great guy to have a jar with.

9:30 am  
Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

It's always nice to know where you stand..... Obviously this GP is not a graduate of euph culture. This'll cheer you up. What do you call the guy who graduates bottom of his class from medical school?







Doctor.

12:48 pm  
Blogger Timmargh said...

A doctor with a sense of humour? Oh, my.

Timmargh would prefer to die peacefully, in his sleep, just like his grandfather ... not screaming and shouting as his passengers were.

12:51 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

This must be a demonstration of those "communication skills" the medical profession is being advised to work so hard at.

5:44 pm  
Anonymous Dame Honoria Glossop said...

It is exactly the sort of thing the Glossop family physician would say. He has known me a very long time.

9:11 pm  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

I will soon have to undergo a surgery and after that my arm will be in plaster for three weeks and quite immobile after that for some time. Half of my colleagues are deaf sign language users and during that time I won't be able to talk to them. After having mentioned that to my doctor he said: "Feel free to give away my business cards, just in case they would like to express their gratitude!"

2:50 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I hesitate to introduce indelicate topics into the consciousness of a lady so august, but I hope the Editor is aware of some of the side-effects to be expected from regular opioid use, and can advise Land Bracknell of adjusting her dietary intake accordingly.

3:47 pm  

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