Lady Bracknell went to hospital...
Lady Bracknell, despite having spent far more time than is good for her at the surgery of her general medical practitioner in the last fortnight, has not actually been to hospital at all, and fervently hopes that there will be no need for her to do so in the immediate future.
Her continued malaise, however, renders her unequal to the task of composing lengthy blog entries containing such necessary elements as logical flow and coherent argument. Hence the recent introduction to this blog of the parlour games which, to date, have proved to be most diverting.
Given the generally dubious state of health not only of Lady Bracknell herself, but also of the majority of her regular readers, this latest game should have considerable appeal and result in spirited play.
This game is similar to the popular "I went to market", in that a list must be constructed in alphabetical order, with players accurately repeating the previous "goes" before adding an item of their own.
An example would be, "I went to hospital because I had acne", followed by, "I went to hospital because I had acne and a boil".
Naturally, given the background of many of her readers, Lady Bracknell is hoping for more obscure conditions than the simple acne and/or boils.
As a side benefit to this game, it may be that readers who previously considered themselves to be very poorly indeed may decide by the end of play that they are really remarkably sprightly in comparison with the Person Who Went To Hospital.
The first "go" is:
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis.
Her continued malaise, however, renders her unequal to the task of composing lengthy blog entries containing such necessary elements as logical flow and coherent argument. Hence the recent introduction to this blog of the parlour games which, to date, have proved to be most diverting.
Given the generally dubious state of health not only of Lady Bracknell herself, but also of the majority of her regular readers, this latest game should have considerable appeal and result in spirited play.
This game is similar to the popular "I went to market", in that a list must be constructed in alphabetical order, with players accurately repeating the previous "goes" before adding an item of their own.
An example would be, "I went to hospital because I had acne", followed by, "I went to hospital because I had acne and a boil".
Naturally, given the background of many of her readers, Lady Bracknell is hoping for more obscure conditions than the simple acne and/or boils.
As a side benefit to this game, it may be that readers who previously considered themselves to be very poorly indeed may decide by the end of play that they are really remarkably sprightly in comparison with the Person Who Went To Hospital.
The first "go" is:
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis.
posted by
Lady Bracknell | Wednesday, March 07, 2007
50 Comments:
Ma'am
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis and bubonic plague.
Excellent!
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitus, bubonic plague and cholera.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, and a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me.
?
Lady Bracknell is not entirely convinced that one would go to hospital merely because one had a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments in one's possession, so will add a further 'd' of her own:
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me and dengue fever.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever and enteritis.
And I still had to wait in Outpatients for six hours.
I cite all those medical students who, while studying, become convinced they're in the first stages of something horrible and must get it checked out, simply because of the large number of nasty ailments they learn about that share similar primary symptoms to hangovers, a lack of sleep, the common cold, or a poor diet.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionaty of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, and exophthalmos.
Ooo goody, another game!
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me,dengue fever and erysipelas.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, and Friedreich's Ataxia.
went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, and Glutaricaciduria I.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis and Guillain-Barre syndrome.
Ma'am
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome and a hang-nail!
Ma'am
Sorry; that last offering was perhaps a bit trivial compared to the ailments offered by others - although it does resonate with a recent comment I left on another blog.
Anyway, to make amends may I also offer the following "H"?
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail and Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E and Impetigo.
Ma'am
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, Impetigo and Jock Itch (Tinea Cruris).
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis) and Kwashiokor.
Boogaloo Dude and the mysterious Aging Juvenile Binky Huckabuck are out of the game.
Both have omitted the Pseudonymous Carp's Glutaricaciduria I.
Gosh durn it to Heck!
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor and Leber's Congenital Amaurosis.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis and Maple Syrup Urine Disease.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease and Narcoleps....zzzzzzzzz.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail and Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, Impetigo, Jock Itch, Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, and neurosis.
Get this - my ancient Collins has the following definition of neurosis: "a relatively mild mental disorder, characterised by symptoms such as hysteria, anxiety or obsessive behaviour." I am sure this is most reassuring to all.
Oh, and nihilism (a complete denial of all established authority and institutions). But then if I had nihilism, why did I go to hospital?
Bother and blast. I too succumb to the wiles of the elusive Glutaricaciduria I.
Oh dear. That is unfortunate.
The loss of both the Dude and the Seahorse (keen players both) may result in this particular game never reaching a satisfactory conclusion.
Soldiering on without the Dude and the Seahorse, I submit the following:
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcoleps....zzzzzzzzz, neurosis, nihilism, and Osteopetrosis.
I fear my ramblings as I struggled with the constraints of my Collins may have thrown things off course. I suggest leaving out my goes and reverting to the comeback kid, who left us with narcoleps.....zzzzz
Night all.
I think even the most determined of nihilists might cave in and go to hosiptal if he/she had this lot...
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, Impetigo, Jock Itch, Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, neurosis and otitis media
Ma'am
Sorry to be a party pooper, but I notice that The Sybil has also neglected Pseudonymous Carp's Glutaricaciduria I.
Respectfully
Dude
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media and pyoderma gangrenosum.
Yee Haw. The Kid's back in town!!
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, Impetigo, Jock Itch, Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis or osteoporosis, otitis media and Parkinson's Disease.
Dude,
Lady Bracknell regrets to note that your observation is correct, and that the_sybil is therefore unfortunately "out".
As, regrettably, is Mr Dawson, who has made the same error.
(Lady Bracknell is having second thoughts about having started this particular game.)
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease and Quincke's Oedema.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema and renal osteodystrophy.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy and smallpox.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox and typhus.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy, smallpox and trichotillomania.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy, smallpox and Tourette's Syndrome.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome and urticaria.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria and Von Recklinghausen's disease.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease and Weil's disease.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease, Weil's disease and Xeroderma Pigmentosa.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease, Weil's disease, Xeroderma Pigmentosa and yatapoxvirus (Yaba monkey tumour virus).
Madam,
As a dutiful hypochondriac, I feel I must have my share in this conversation:
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease, Weil's disease and Xeroderma Pigmentosa and Yellow Fever.
went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease, Weil's disease, Xeroderma Pigmentosa, and yaws.
Lady Bracknell welcomes La Nouvelle Heloise to the festivities.
As Mr Dawson was declared "out" after his letter 'p' contribution, his latest 'go' should be ignored by whichever intrepid soul completes the game.
I went to hospital because I had ankylosing spondylitis, bubonic plague, cholera, a Dictionary of Obscure Ailments to worry me, dengue fever, enteritis, exophthalmos, erisypelas, Friedreich's Ataxia, Glutaricaciduria I, glomerulonephritis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, a hang-nail, Hepatitis A, B, C, D and E, impetigo, Jock Itch (Tinea Crusis), Kwashiokor, Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, Maple Syrup Urine Disease, Narcolepsy, neurosis, nihilism, osteopetrosis, otitis media, pyoderma gangrenosum, Parkinson's disease, Quincke's Oedema, renal osteodystrophy,smallpox, typhus, trichotillomania, Tourette's Syndrome, urticaria, Von Recklinghausen's disease, Weil's disease, Xeroderma Pigmentosa, yatapoxvirus (Yaba monkey tumour virus), yellow fever and Zieve's syndrome. Honest!
Congratulations to every one who took part, and particularly to the Sphix Queen for having dealt the final blow.
Plans for another game are under way.
Sorry! That'll teach me to read each and every contribution properly!
The final few rounds did make me chuckle. Good game. Anyone for I Spy?
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