I love my love with an 'a'
Following the success of "I went to market", Lady Bracknell deems the time to be right to introduce another game.
The first "go" is as follows:
I love my love with an 'a' because he is absurd. I hate him with an 'a' because he is amoral. I took him to Aberdeen, and treated him to asparagus and artichokes. His name is Alan and he comes from Alsace.
Readers wishing to take part in the game may, of course, adjust the gender of their loved one to match their own preference. They are positively encouraged to make their "goes" ridiculous rather than cloyingly sentimental.
Players should choose the letter which follows on from the last contribution published: there will undoubtedly be duplication of letters at those times when the Editor is not poised over a hot keyboard to moderate contributions the moment they come in, but this should not detract from the enjoyment of the game.
posted by
Lady Bracknell | Saturday, March 03, 2007
63 Comments:
I love my love with a 'b' because she is buxom. I hate her with a 'b' because she is belligerent. I took her to Birmingham, and treated her to broccoli and brussels sprouts. Her name is Berenice and she comes from Buganda.
[In the game as I played it in youth, one was not required to repeat the original statement. So I'll risk being @out@ first go by following that convention.]
I love my love with a B because he is bright. I hate him with a B because he is a braggart. I took him to Blackpool and treated him to bangers and beans. His name is Bernard and he comes from Broadbottom. (yes, that's a real place)
Mr Dawson is correct: this game is intended merely to entertain. It is not a feat of memory. (Or of cutting and pasting skills.)
I love my love with a C because he is contemptible. I hate him with a C because he is cantankerous. I took him to Chernobyl and treated him to chips and carcinogens. His name is contempt and he comes from Cockfosters.
I love ma love with a D because he is dubious. I hate him with a D because he is dumb as a Delft Donkey. I took him to Dorset and treated him with dogfood and dishwater. His name is Daniel and he is Dutch.
I love my love with a 'd' because he is dangerous. I hate him with a 'd' because he is dirty. I took him to Dartmoor and treated him to Darjeeling and diazepam. His name is Dominic and he comes from Dubai.
Are we allowed drinks and drugs or do they have to be solid foods? Am I out already, again?
The Goldfish may have as many drinks and drugs as she likes.
The only way to put oneself out of this particular game would be to omit a letter.
I love my love with an "e" because she is elegantly elephantine. I hate her with an "e" because she is an energetic engineer. I took her to Eritrea, and treated her to Eccles cakes and Easter eggs. Her name is Euphrosyne and she comes from the East End evidently.
I love my love with an F because he is flirty. I hate him with an F because he is flighty. I took him to Fring and treated him to flan and fudge. His name is Fernando and he comes from Frome.
I love my love with a G because he is gorgeous. I hate him with a G because he is grumpy. I took him to Gloucester and treated him to gin and gingerbread. His name is Gordon and he comes from Ghent.
I love my love with an 'h' because he is helpful. I hate him with an 'h' because he is horrendously hirsute. I took him to Hong Kong and treated him to Hula Hoops and ham bones. His name is Horace and he comes from Hartlepool.
I love my love with an 'i' because he is irresistible. I hate him with an 'i' because he is insufferable. I took him to Imola, and treated him to icecream and indigestion. His name is Ilya and he comes from Ipswich.
Ilove my love with a 'j' because she is jocund. I hate her with a 'j' because she is jealous. I took her to Jersey City, and treated her to jelly beans and jam. Her name is Josephine and she comes from Japan.
I love my love with a 'k' because he is kindly. I hate him with a 'k' because he is kleptomaniacal. I took him to Kirkby Lonsdale and treated him to kangaroo steaks and a knickerbocker glory. His name is Kester and he comes from Kazakhstan.
I love my love with an 'L'
because he is ludicruous.
I hate him with an 'L' because he is lascivious.
I took him to Longleat and
treated him to left over Lion meat and lollipops His name is Leonardo and he comes from Llandudno (where he works as a lexicographer).
I love my love with an L because he is lavish. I hate hime with an L because he is liverish. I took him to Longdendale and treated him to liver and lights. His name is Lawrence and he comes from Lytham.
I love my love with a 'p' because he is practically perfect. I hate him with a 'p' because he is persistently pusillanimous. I took him to Preston and treated him to picallili and partridge. His name is Philoctetes and he comes from Patagonia.
Hey! where's M, N and O?
Oh, drat.
Out again.
I love my love with an M because he is mellifluous. I hate him with an M because he is miserable. I took him to Madrid and treated him to Marmite and marchpane. His name is Montezuma and he comes from Mississippi
Ma'am
I love my love with an M because she is mercurial. I hate her with an M because she is mawkish. I took her to Massachusetts and treated her to macaroni and mice. Her name is Miss Myrtle Molescrotum and she comes from Magherafelt.
Respectfully
Dude
I love my love with an N because he is nice. I hate him with an N because he is niggardly. I took him to Nice and treated him to Nice biscuits and noodles. His name is Nickerless Nickerbocker and he comes from Nuneaton
I love my love with an 'O' because he is omnicompetent.
I hate him with an 'O' because he is obstreperous.
I took him to an Osteopath and treated him to odourless-garlic and oranges.
His name is Oswald and he comes from Oswestry.
Given that Lady Bracknell herself peaked rather too early with 'p', the next letter to be atempted should be 'q'.
I love my love with a Q because he is quirky. I hate him with a Q because he is querulous. I took him to Quebec and treated him to quince jelly and quiche. His name is Quentin (who else?) and he comes from Quimper.
Actually...his name could have been Quetzalcoatl. Can I have that instead? It elevates him to the status of a God of the Aztecs, as opposed to a mere Englishman in New York. And yes, I have been looking in my dictionary. Well it was the letter Q. If dictionary use is cheating, I bow humbly to the rules.
Ma'am
I love my love with a Q because she is quintessentially quaint. I hate her with a Q because she is quite quiet. I took her to Queipo De Llano and treated her to quails, quince and quinoa . Her name is Queenie Quixote and she comes from Queensferry.
The Seahorse's love may indeed be Quetzalcoatl: why not?
I love my love with an R because he is rumpled. I hate him with an R because he is rude. I took him to Reddish and treated him to rice and radishes. His name is Randolph and he comes from Redditch.
Is this game still on?? If so:
I love my love with a Q because he is quiet. I hate him with a Q, because he is quackish. I took him to Qatar and treated him to a quaffer and a roasted quail. His name is Quentin and he is from Quebec.
Oh, Qatar! Good play, Mone. Lady Bracknell is impressed...
Ma’am
I love my love with an S because she is sexually solicitous. I hate her with a S because she is a sexual solicitor. I took her to Sauciehall Street, and treated her to salmon, sprouts, sausages and simnal cake. Her name is Serendipity and she comes from Shetland.
I love my love with an S, because he is sensuous. I hate him with an S, because he is selfish. I took him to Sienna and treated him to Spaghetti and Segreta. His name is Stefano and he is from Sorrento.
I love my love with a 't' because she is tempestuous. I hate her with a 't' because she is temperamental. I took her to truro, and treated her to tomatoes and toffee. Her name is Thomasina and she comes from Tenerife.
Come on people, let's get this through the alphabet!
I love my love with a T because he is tender. I hate him with a T because he is tempestuous. I took him to Towcester and treated him to tripe and truffles (and a cup of T). His name is Timon and he comes from Tripoli
I love my love with a U because he is unearthly. I hate him with a U because he is unctuous. I took him to Upsala and treated him to ugli fruit and unpasteurised milk. His name is Umberto I, and he comes from Umbria.
I love my love with a U because he is uxorious. I hate him with a U because he is unsightly. I took him to Ullswater and treated him to ugli and ursine steaks. His name is Uther and he comes from Uttoxeter.
Clearly, the letter 'u' has posed a considerable challenge when it comes to the treats. 'Ursine', in particular, smacks of desperation.
Lady Bracknell might have plumped for "upside-down pudding", had she still been in play, but she is struggling to come up with any other alternatives to those already suggested. Unless one would want to treat one's love to unleaded petrol, of course.
Lady Bracknell is particularly looking forward to the letter 'x'...
I love my love with a V because he is virile. I hate him with a V because he is vitriolic. I took him to Venus on a Vespa and treated him to vermicelli and vegeburgers. His name is Vlad, and he comes from Vega.
May an American join the game?
I love my love with a V because she is virtuous. I hate her with a V because she is vacillating. I took her to Volney (Virginia) and treated her to vichyssoise and vinegar. Her name is Velma and she comes from Ventucopa (California).
Ma'am
I love my love with a W because she is willing. I hate her with a W because she is a wastrel. I took her to Westminster and treated her to watercress, walnuts and whitebait. Her name is Wilhelmina and she comes from Wallasey in Wirral.
Mr Larkin has suggested "Xanadu" as a place name for the next 'go'.
Lady Bracknell would give more points for a non-mythical place name, however, if one can be found.
Ma'am
I love my love with an X because she is a xerographer and a xylophonist. I hate her with an X because she is xenophobic. I took her to Xanten Stadt and treated her to xanthan gum and xylitol. Her name is Xanthe and she comes from Xi’an
Round of applause for the Dude who, Lady Bracknell suspects, has been preparing that 'go' for a while...
I love my love with an 'x' because he thinks he is a xoanon. I hate him with an 'x' because he is xenophobic. I took him to X (because it marks the spot) and treated him to xenon and a xylem His name is Xander and he comes from Xanadu.
Well, it was all the pocket scrabble dictionary could come up with!
Angie
Lady Bracknell is mightily impressed: two 'goes' for 'x' with only one duplication!
Lady Bracknell's readers are indeed resourceful.
The letter 'z' should be easy in comparison.
I love my love with a 'y' because she is youthful. I hate her with a 'y' because she is yielding. I took her to Ypres, and treated her to yams and yarrow tea. She is yclept Yvonne and she comes from Yugoslavia.
I love my love with a Y because he is youthful. I hate him with a Y because he's a yeti. I took him to Youlgreave and treated him to yoghurt and Yakult (and some Yardley). His name is Yves and he comes from Yeovil.
I love my love with a y, because he is youthful. I hate him with a y, because he is yobbish. I took him to Yemen and treated him to yogurt and yule log. His name is Yuri and he is from Yalta.
I love my love with a 'Y' because he is a yes-man.
I hate my love with a 'Y' because he yodels.
I took him to Yarmouth and treated him to a yoni (!).
His name is Yusuf and he comes from the Yemen.
(May I respectfully suggest that EVERYONE enters a 'Z')
It is a matter of no little concern to someone of Lady Bracknell's advanced years that youthfulness would appear to be an almost universally desirable attribute...
I love my love with a 'z' because she is zestful. I hate her with a 'z' because she is zealous. I took her to Zurich and treated her to zabaglione (it's an Italian desert) and zander (the fish). Her name is Zoe and she comes from Zion.
I love my love with a Z because she is zany. I hate her with a Z because she is zonked. I took her to Zaire and treated her to a zebra steak and zucchini. Her name is Zsa-Zsa and she comes from Zeals.
Again!!! Let's do it again!!!!!
Zebu!
I thank you :<)
I love my love with a Z because he has zillions£. I hate my love with a Z because he is a zombie. I took my love to Zeebrugge and treated him to a zootsuit to wear with his zimmer. His name is Zebedee and he comes from the Zuyder Zee.
I love my love with a 'z' because she is zymotic. I hate her with a 'z' because she is zygodactylous. I took her to Zagreb, and treated her to zedoary (medicinally)and zwieback. Her name is Zosima and she comes from Zanzibar.
I love my love with a 'z' because he is zooligical. I hate him with a 'z' because he is zealous. I took him to Zetland, and treated him to zebu and Zambucca. His name is Zeus and he comes from Zoar.
I love my love with an 'a' because he is audacious. I hate him with an 'a' because he is allegorical. I took him to Antwerp, and treated him to artichokes and arugula. His name is Apollo and he comes from Armenia.
I love my love with an "H" beacause he is happy. I hate my love with an "H" because he is hideous. I feed him ham sandwiches and hay. His name is Hare and he lives on the hill.
I love my love with an M, because he possesses a magical countenance. I hate him with an M because he is megalomaniacal. I took him to Manchester and treated him to the monster movies. His name is Malcolm and he comes from Montreal.
Alice played this game in Through The Looking Glass.
I love my love with a 'N' because he is naive.I hate him with a 'N' because he is a natural disaster.I took him to nagano and treated him to nikuman and Nikujaga.his name is nash and he comes from north dakota.
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