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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Lady Bracknell is concerned for a stranger

Lady Bracknell's editor, as has been previously alluded to in these pages, is something of an ebay addict. (The editor is currently protesting vociferously at being thus labeled by her employer, but Lady Bracknell is confident her readers will agree that checking ebay for new listings first thing every morning for four years does indeed merit being described as addictive behaviour.)

Very occasionally, when photographing the items they wish to sell, persons fail to notice that said items have reflective surfaces. Although she has not retained the requisite photographic evidence, Lady Bracknell's sleep is still sometimes disturbed by her memories of the naked man who was reflected in his stainless steel kettle. Was this simple carelessness on his part, or was it something more sinister? Could it have been a deliberate ploy to reach a wider audience than he could realistically have expected to attain by merely exposing himself in his local park? Did he, perhaps, not own a mac?

Whilst the person in the picture on the left is, to Lady Bracknell's considerable relief, fully clothed, readers cannot help but have noticed that the poor soul is sadly afflicted with disproportionately large hands.

Assuming from the nature of the product on offer that the photographer is female, must the unfortunate woman not experience very considerable difficulties in purchasing gloves with which to complement her amusing two-piece suits?


Blogger Charlesdawson said...

What on earth is it?

5:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are the fingers from that well known puppeteer young Mr Corbett passed on to him by his dad. Years of being squeezed by Sooty and Sweep they have elongated unnatuarally and the condition now being hereditary

Fallen on hard times he has resorted to model for womens fripperies.

T. Muglier

7:43 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell's anonymous contributor can hardly expect to be believed to be the great parfumier himself if he or she can not spell "Mugler" correctly.

Mr Dawson is apparently unfamiliar with the Angel range of products. The photograph is of a jar of "vivifiant" face mask.

8:31 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Good God. If she was selling it, I hope it was unopened. An unwanted present from a former friend, perhaps?

8:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cor blimey your Ladyship! Caught bang to rights.

Fragonard of Bermondsey

9:10 pm  
Blogger R said...

Lady B! Lady B, ma'am, excuse me for interrupting but my dear papa just linked me to the following extravagant advert, which I suspect may truly be one of the better things I've viewed this evening. For your perusal: http://www.bigad.com.au the Big Ad

You and I both ought to have gone to bed by now but you're leaving a little trail of Lady B-ness all over the interwebnet so I know you're still about...

12:07 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell had quite a long sleep this afternoon, so is awake beyond her usual bedtime and, as Miss Becca so rightly reports, is dispensing her pearls of wisdom hither and yon throughout cyberspace.

She will disseminate the URL for the Big Ad widely before wandering back to bed. It's marvellous!

12:17 am  

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