In which Lady Bracknell repents of her rash behaviour
The object in question being a certain Mr P Larkin, and he being a Very Great Friend of this blog's Editor, Lady Bracknell, in direct contravention of the habits long ingrained in her by virtue of her position in society, has decided to offer a public apology for what was, she now understands, deemed to be a vile calumny against a wholly innocent - nay, positively saintly - man.
When Lady Bracknell ventured to mention that Mr Larkin has a predilection for the demon drink, she did not intend to imply that he is, by any stretch of the imagination, alcohol-dependent. She now understands that, while by no means a total abstainer, Mr Larkin drinks only socially and never to excess. Indeed, so casual is Mr Larkin's affection for alcoholic beverages that he would certainly never be tempted to succumb to their lure when, for example, taking a course of anti-biotics. Neither, apparently, would he be so reckless of another's health as to press alcohol on someone with a medical condition which renders its consumption inadvisable.
Lady Bracknell is assured by her Editor that one would be hard-pressed to find a finer and more responsible gentleman than Mr Larkin regardless of how diligently, or how widely, one searched. Mr Larkin would appear, from all accounts, to be a veritable paragon of virtue of a calibre rarely encountered in these parlous times. Lady Bracknell, now lost in admiration for the gentleman in question's moral rectitude, is ashamed of having thoughtlessly maligned his character and reputation in the name of entertainment.
Any parallels which may be drawn between the degree of genuine and heartfelt sincerity demonstrated in the above paragraphs and that evinced yesterday by a certain contestant of a reality television show are entirely in the minds of Lady Bracknell's readers.