Appearances can be deceptive
Lady Bracknell would be the first to admit that she is
- big
- full-bodied
- aristocratic; and
- a lady.
Despite this, she has little doubt that she is not what the individual who fed the above random collection of words into a search engine earlier today was really looking for.
posted by
Lady Bracknell | Sunday, July 02, 2006
6 Comments:
The Goldfish's latest favourite is goldfish swallowing fetish. She must at some point answer the most commonplace search question folks find her through, concerning the sex of their goldfish;
However, it amuses The Goldfish immensely that this question is only occasionally asked as the pefectly sensible:
How do you determine the sex of my goldfish? or Is my goldfish male or female?.
Other more common variations include;
What is the gender of my goldfish? or Is my goldfish a boy or a girl? or Is my goldfish a man fish or a lady fish?
Frankly, if a person is going to apply sociological roles to their pet, one feels they may be better off left in ignorance.
I have to ask her ladyship how she knows of these people who find her blog in this way. Do you actually receive e-mails from them (I dread to think) or do you have some other way of spying on your readers?
I get a small but worrying number of visitors searching for 'electroejaculator for humans' or similar.
Rather more of them are looking for the theme tune from The Littlest Hobo.
In response to Mr Medhurst's enquiry, Lady Bracknell recommends that - should he wish to gain similar knowledge of such persons as visit his own fine blog - he instal Site Meter.
If he clicks on the Site Meter button at the bottom of this blog, or the one on the sidebar of the Goldfish's blog, and chooses the "by referrals" option, he will no longer be mystified.
Lady B,
The title of your post made me instantly start singing a song called The Tichbourne Claimant by The Lucksmiths. Their main songwriter is a man obsessed with early 20th century crime. Especially that of the Brittish persuasion. The song goes like this....
Big and fat, here he comes
All his fingers look like thumbs
Mother dearest, look who’s here
It’s your long-lost loving son
Brush aside your fears
Look: he’s got his uncle’s ears
So he’s a little fatter - it doesn’t matter
A lot can happen in eleven years
And inside every fat man
Is another man who’s thin
Even his own mother wouldn’t recognise him
Why the dickens should I believe him
Has he given me one good reason?
Of course he hasn’t
If he’s the heir apparent
Appearances can be deceiving
Names are not important
Sir Roger Tichborne or Arthur Orton
From stealing cattle to an aristocrat
He’ll sell his soul to claim his fortune
And outside every thin man
Is another man who’s fat
Only a mother could love a face like that
Ahhh... perhaps now the tune will leave my head!
Everyday I get people to my site as a result of searching for female curves and spanking animations. I fear they are terribly disappointed when they find a photo of a statue and an animation about Robert Kilroy-Silk.
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