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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Monday, August 25, 2008

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu

Well, that's that. Despite mounting public pressure for them to be left in place, it is almost certain that the superlambanana flock will be chivvied onto trucks by the supersheepdogs early tomorrow morning and whisked off to ... well, who knows? Some sort of sheep fold, presumably.

Word on the street (oh, ok: in the local paper) is that 90 of them will reappear outside St George's Hall shortly prior to the charity auction on September 9th.

I am extremely proud to report that I managed to bag a nice, round one hundred of the revised total of 125. Given another month - and a lot more poring over bus route information, and being assured by bus drivers that they don't go where their route map says they go - I could have extended that total to include at least some of the superlambananas to the north of the city centre. But I would never have managed all of them. Some are simply too far off the beaten track, and others have been so badly damaged by the elements and/or vandalised that the supervets can't revive them.

Pottering around Liverpool by bus, train and Shanks's pony to bag superlambananas may seem, to someone who doesn't know me, like an odd thing in which to take pride. But the great joy of this whole, extended safari has been the fact that I could actually do it. Thanks entirely to twelve months of acupuncture, I am now the fittest I have been since before my second back injury four years ago. Rough calculations accomplished by means of an A-Z, a ribbon and a tape measure indicate that I walked more than two miles yesterday. (Yes, I'm paying for it today. Yes, it was only my determination to reach 100 which kept me going. No, it probably wasn't sensible. But I did it. Two months ago, I couldn't have even imagined doing it.)

Speaking of bus, train and Shanks's pony, having been hurried away from Tudorlambanana by a be-cagouled couple who leapt out of their car with their cameras poised, I am now firmly of the opinion that bagging superlambananas by car and sat nav is just cheating. At the very least, it's missing out on a lot of what goes to make up the full superlambanana safari experience. You're supposed to get rained on. You're supposed to discover to your horror that the A-Z failed to mention any number of really steep hills. You're supposed to get lost in your attempts to navigate down the crease between two pages of your only-slightly-out-of-date-honestly A-Z: that's how you get to meet lots of new people who are only too happy to give you directions to their superlambanana.

I am once more approaching my monthly bandwidth limit on Flickr, but I'll upload at least one picture of each of the last several superlambananas I photographed at the beginning of next month.

In the interim, I have discovered - after only about twenty pages of Google results - this website. I'm not quite sure who would want to shell out for prints of other people's photographs of the superlambananas, but it does at least provide you with a complete catalogue of the beasties. Not to mention these rather fab free wallpapers, and a rather fun book you can download and print off so that you or, more probably, your offspring, can design your own superlambanana. (I'm thinking of Alex, here. Alex, I am reliably informed by his mom, is entranced by the superlambananas.)

Superlambanana memorabilia have been disappointingly thin on the ground, but Utility is offering a couple of key rings and a colouring book. (I'm not 100% sure that link to my search results will work, but, if it doesn't, you can get to the right page by using the obvious search term.)

Favourites? Gosh, that's tricky. Supergrassbanana is hugely endearing. Superchromebanana is as classy as an exceedingly classy thing. I still have a soft spot for Superlamba-xray and child. Peel is a very clever idea, very well executed. If I were forced to choose just one, I'd probably plump for Cargo. But ask me on another day, and it might be something else.

If your own enthusiasm for the superlambananas equals that of Pop "Oh, I do hope there is a superlambanana map in my birthday parcel so that I can see where you have been" Larkin, you will be hugely relieved that the whole thing is over. So thank you for bearing with me. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

The Editor


Blogger Jess said...

Oh, thank goodness. I saw your post title on my blog feed and thought for one panicked moment that you were about to disappear. And I've been very remiss in stopping by to say hello lately. Hello! I hope you and the pussycats are happy and well. :)

Superlambananas are super! \o/ We had DinoMite Days here in Pittsburgh a few years ago; most of those were auctioned off but you still see them about. There's one on the grounds of an insurance office across the river that wears a hat and scarf all year.

6:29 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Oops - sorry!

No, were I intending to disappear, I've no doubt the post title would have a lot more of the diva strop about it.

(That damn song has been going round in my head all day, by the way. This will teach me to pick song lyrics as titles...)

Oh, wow - the dinos are cool. I'm going to keep that link open and have a proper browse through them once I've had something to eat.

6:40 pm  
Blogger DD said...

Fabulous! My very own miniature superlambanana is now on its way from Utility.

1:55 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Oh, that's great :-)

6:09 pm  
Blogger dmarks said...

Those do look kind of weird.

1:08 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coming from America, here. I just have to give you a big thanks for taking the time to not only take the photos, but to share them with the world.

We have a horse statue if Fort Worth, Texas, I can snap a photo of for you. Bet you can't wait! ;>

3:18 am  
Blogger Supermouse said...

Friends of mine in Warrington and Manchester are also exceedingly proud to live close to the superlambananas. I've only seen the yellow one, but then I am in Bolton.

Will you be going to watch the giant robot spider?

11:22 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

dmarks - when the original superlambanana appeared ten years ago, we all thought it was extremely weird.

It's amazing what you can get used to over time.

Soov - my breath is bated :-)

Supermouse - I'm hoping to catch her when she's down at Kings Dock tomorrow, but it will depend on just how many other people have had exactly the same idea. I can't manage in crowds.

6:12 pm  

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