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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Monday, August 18, 2008

Health & Safety

Wise words from my employer's brand new, mandatory, online health and safety training package:

“Furthermore, our relationships with colleagues will be enhanced if we take care and avoid harming them.

Today, behaviour that causes unnecessary pain or injury to others is regarded as socially and morally unacceptable.”

I swear on the Dude's life that the above has been lifted directly from the screen, and has not been subjected to my habitual satirical tinkering. That being the case, I am quietly confident that it needs no further comment from me.

The Editor
(Still recuperating from weeks of building work, but hoping to be back in the blogosphere on a regular basis 'ere long)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're supposed to avoid harming your colleagues? Okay, I mean I understand it may lead to less workplace injuries, less prosecutions and less jail time, but really, where's the fun in that?

12:41 pm  
Blogger DD said...

Durn! Best remove that mantrap from the boss's office chair then, and fill in the poison-spike-filled pit I just dug in reception.

2:57 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I know: it does rather take the joy out of going into the office...

What we're all intrigued to find out, though, is exactly when "behaviour that causes unnecessary pain or injury to others" was regarded as being socially and morally acceptable.

6:27 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear Lady,
you've obviously never worked for an organisation with an 'audit' section. I've always understood their raison d'etre to be "behaviour that causes unnecessary pain or injury to others".

They're like that character from Little Britain: "Audit says no".

9:16 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

You have no idea how tempted I am at this juncture to claim that I work in an audit section...

5:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So.... how are we defining necessary pain and/or injury?

I merely ask.

11:02 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...


How could I have missed that?

5:34 am  

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