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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Memo to self

Sometimes, when you buy trousers cheaply on eBay, they have been classed as seconds by the manufacturer when the only thing which is wrong with them is that the care label has been sewn into the front rather than the back.

This makes them a Great Bargain.

However, it would be helpful if you could remember this particular trouser-foible when you are about to put them on in the morning, rather than having a nasty realisation when you reach your desk that the reason you can't get your mobile phone into your pocket is that your pockets are facing the wrong way.

The Editor


Blogger Melissa said...


Brilliant! :D

8:39 pm  
Anonymous The Great Bustard said...

Perhaps the trousers were right but your entire body was on back-to-front...

It could happen!

You have now entered the Twiglet Zone (Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo)

9:49 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

You managed to find desk-job-suitable ladies trousers with POCKETS?!?!?! Pockets big enough for a Mobile Phone?!?!?

12:41 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

Sarky bustard.

Where is the zip?

1:41 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...


At my girth, no-one wants to be treated to a glimpse of my stomach or backside in trousers. All my tops come down below pocket-level.

Dame Honoria,

Ther is no zip: I may be a bit dim first thing in the morning, but I'm not dim enough to put a pair of trousers which fasten with a zip on the wrong way round!

5:04 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I didn't think you'd fastened them up the back (now laughing at mental picture of bodily contortions required to do same) but wondered if they were side-fastening and if so which side. But if there is no zip that won't help.

5:56 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Oh, I wouldn't be able to reach to do up a side-fastening zip, either.

In fact, now that I come to think of it, I don't imagine a zip at the front would always be entirely straightforward...

7:26 pm  
Anonymous The Great Bustard said...

Zips may not always be entirely straightforward, but they are a damn sight easier than the hooks on ladies' foundation garments.

Who on earth thought they would be a good idea... particularly for those of us with less than nimble fingers??

1:21 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

For some reason, I had always assumed the Great Bustard was male.

Perhaps, then, he is a cross-dresser?

6:06 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

For some reason I thought the Great Bustard was not referring to his own foundation garments ;)

7:45 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

For some reason, I have always considered off-colour remarks from men about the difficulties they have with the fastenings of women's attire to be really quite offensive.

Should I wish to take part in any activity involving full- or semi-nudity with a member of the male sex, I am quite capable of dealing with my own fastenings.

I find the concept of men wishing to "help" me disrobe to be both sexist and predatory.

7:51 pm  
Anonymous The Great Bustard said...

Could be, your Ladyship!

You gotta problem with that then?

Then again, me Tinkerbella is more than likely on the right track :<))

7:51 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I have no problem at all with cross-dressers.

I'll take a cross-dresser over an unreconstructed neanderthal every time.

7:54 pm  
Anonymous The Great Bustard said...

Oops. Sorry!!


3:46 pm  

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