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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Monday, November 26, 2007


If your grabby stick (which you have just been using to pick up all the dried leaves which Someone carries in on her tail and then drops on to the carpet) falls on the floor, how do you pick it up...?

The Editor


Blogger laughingattheslut said...

Buy new grabby stick and have it delivered express?

10:15 pm  
Blogger Melissa said...

• Teach "Someone" to pick it up and bring it to you.

• Magnets.

• Go "fishing" for it with duct tape.

• Learn telekinesis.

• Phone up a cute member of the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's your preference) and express to them how grateful you'd be if they could just pop over and do you one little favor...

• Loop string around the end of the grabby stick and raise it that way.

• Get a 2nd grabby stick.

... I could go on but I'll stop here ;)

11:43 pm  
Blogger Katie said...

You invite the Dude round and throw some marmite toast on the floor beside the grabby stick?

12:30 am  
Blogger Jess said...

I was going to suggest stepping on the tip of the grabby stick to sort of lever the other end up-- but that really only works well on a thick carpet. There's also a certain amount of bending still involved in the equation, though perhaps not as far as before. So maybe not.

Rather a moot point, of course, considering that this post has been up for twelve hours or so, and you've probably retrieved the grabby stick by now.

11:59 am  
Blogger Andrea said...


But what if Dude (or Marmite Boy if he comes over instead) only attacks the toast and leaves the grabby stick untouched?

Better to bribe him properly: SHOW him the marmite toast. Then after he starts salivating (though I have no idea why he would, being American myself) tell him he can only have it after handing over the grabby stick.

I like Melissa's notion of learning telekinesis. Although I imagine there would be a certain learning curve involved, once mastered, this skill could then be useful in a great many other contexts.

Or try kicking at it. It may not actually be productive but might at least allow for venting of one's annoyance.


12:13 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I wait for the Hon to pick it up for me.

4:56 pm  
Blogger Lady said...

Eggtongs, mayhaps? If they are too short, surely the Lady has some coal tongs she might use.

5:09 pm  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

... and how do you then pick the Dude up??

Marmite toast though. Hmmm. Might be worth it.


5:44 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

You get the Dude to pass you the grabby stick.

You then use the grabby stick to pick up the Dude.


11:07 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I think we have the definitive solution.

Now, where's that mamrmite...?

6:38 am  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

... and I get to eat the Marmite toast.

Yay! Mary rocks!!

4:19 pm  
Blogger Lady said...

You're all crazy. Marmite.....*shiver*

..though I can't talk. A friend of mine has promised to procure something called marmite twigs, under the promise I'll love them. And, like a fool, I plan to try.

4:44 pm  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

[pssst! I think she means Twiglets, or "Twilights" as they are knwn Chez Dude. Shall we tell her?]

6:04 pm  
Anonymous Sara said...

Lady, your courage is inspiring.

Marmite. Twigs.

I don't know how to type the sound the back of my throat makes at the thought.

6:16 pm  

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