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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Paging Lady Bracknell

One of the most inexplicable mysteries in Lady Bracknell's humdrum existence is the propensity of bookmarks to absent themselves suddenly, completely and with no notice.

When Lady Bracknell has finished reading a book, she sets the bookmark which she has been using to one side.

Regardless of how little time has elapsed between this action and Lady Bracknell taking up a further volume to peruse, the bookmark will not be where she left it. Not only will the bookmark not be where she left it, it will not be anywhere in view. Neither - unlike the majority of objects which go missing on purpose - will it re-emerge once it has been replaced.

Lady Bracknell can clearly recall the appearance of many bookmarks which she has brought into Bracknell Towers over the years, but not one of them has deigned to remain by her side.

Readers will gain some understanding of how desperate the current bookmark-drought is when they learn that Lady Bracknell is reduced to marking the page in the book she is presently reading with a small, dried leaf which Caspar had the great foresight to carry in on her tail.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It must be those mind-reading cats... Every time they come across an unattended, even if only briefly, bookmark, they squirrel it away and hide it. In Bertie's case, in his fur; in Caspar's case, possibly somewhere outside.
I know how things just 'disappear', never to be seen again. As you say, even their replacement doesn't bring them forth. It's either the cats or poltergeists.
Angie xx

10:52 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah ! - a fellow sufferer.

Tesco check-out till receipts are good.

11:03 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Till recipts, train tickets, chocolate wrappers - all have been pressed into service by Lady Bracknell in extremis.

7:04 am  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

Books eat bookmarks, once their owner has finished reading. Didn't you know that?

1:22 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never bother to purchase bookmarks at all precisely because they never seem to stay put. I just use store receipts for the book itself, or the wrapper that drinking straws come in, or any other bits of scrap paper I can find.

2:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wots a bukmark?

F. Arenhite (911)

5:33 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I'd just like to say, if I'm broke by Christmas, it will be all your fault for introducing me to Resplendent Redhead in Etsy.

8:54 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...


9:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has it ever occurred to you to wonder if the print is still there on the page when the book is closed ?

It bothers me sometimes.

Oft have I snuck up to a book that I thought was asleep and whipped it open . . . but . . . always there is print.


6:18 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

It hadn't before today: it will now, though...

7:36 pm  
Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

If the private life of books bothers you, and yes, they have one, you _really_ need to read Jasper Fforde's Tuesday Next series, starting with The Eyre Affair. And if it doesn't, read it anyway. You'll never look at a book in quite the same way again.

That may or may not be a good thing. Or a bad one.

11:40 pm  

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