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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Can you tell what it is yet?

Ok, yes, so you can recognise a doily and napkins when you see them. Well done. But what's the little blue, crocheted, behatted thing, eh? Ever seen one of those before?

No? Well that's the whole point, according to the eBay seller who made it:-

"Makes a great gift because you KNOW they don't already have one!"

Which rather provokes the response, "Ah, but can you be sure that they would actually like to own one?"

Well, once you know what it is, you may conclude that it's the single item you've been waiting for to make your life complete.

I didn't, admittedly.

But you might.

Taste is, after all, an entirely subjective and personal thing.

And it comes in a variety of enchanting colourways, if the blue and lavender combo wouldn't match your decor.

Although, if this pair matches your decor, I may have to turn down your generous invitation to lunch. (Migraines, don'tcha know....)

The Editor


Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

Umm. This is obviously some definition of 'great' of which I was previously unaware.

Do they do matching toilet roll covers?

3:18 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Thing is, although I loathe and detest knitted loo roll covers, I do at least understand that there's a logical reason behind their existence.

(Logical if the mere glimpse of a spare loo roll will give you a fit of the vapours because it will make you think about unseemly bodily functions.)

But surely there is nothing offensive in the appearance of a bottle of Tabasco sauce?

And, when I want to shake hot sauce over something bland, I don't really want the extra faff of having to remove its sombrero and serape. Or of having to wipe the bottle clean immediately afterwards so that I can put its blody stupid crocheted outfit back on without it getting all gunked up.

But I suspect this is because I lack refinement...

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It reminds me so much of the phrase "Pretentious, moi?" used to great effect by Miss Piggy. I too loathe and detest anything crocheted to disguise something basic.

Anything like that just makes me despair of the human race - the sooner that asteroid lands the better. At least it would put paid to the frills and furbelows that make my blood boil.

Impending doom might also give me time to reflect on my life; I doubt it would include any of those things. Having said that, there would soon be no more knitted nonsense to worry about.

And the cats would be blissfully unaware of same.
Angie xx

PS Though on reflection, it would make quite a good cat plaything if you removed any sharp objects first...

11:30 pm  
Blogger Miss Vertigo said...

Why am I reminded so very much of the appallingly bad pan-pipers, of 'The Fast Show' fame?

11:36 am  
Anonymous Boogaloo Dude said...

Ooh! Ooh. Miss!! I know!!!

Is it an Irish sex hound?

PS Had you considered the possibiliy that you may have inadvertantly provided someone dear to you with the necessary inspiration regarding what to get as a Christmas present for the Lady who has everything??

12:51 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only type of crochets I likes, is the ones that go with minims.

Motzartoh Ball Soup

1:33 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Ha! The Fast Show Pan Pipers!!

How could I have missed the striking resemblance?

That's cheered me up no end, has that :-)

1:59 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...


Someone Dear To Me doesn't need any assistance with inspiration, I can assure you.

Christmas is a Time of Fear...

2:00 pm  

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