Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...
Ok, ok, so we're barely into September. And I shouldn't be mentioning the 'C' word for at least another three months.
But, y'know, if you're going to actually be making all the presents for your nearest and dearest rather than hurtling, credit card in hand, like a thing possessed through Marks & Spencer at 5.25 pm on Christmas Eve, then you'll need to start planning early. And you'll need to seek out appropriate patterns.
Knitting patterns, possibly.
For, oo, I dunno ... hats, maybe?
I mean, who wouldn't want a knitted hat in their Christmas stocking? Hats which have been lovingly hand-crafted out of wool have the dual blessing of being both warm and attractive.
Um.
Well.
They can do.
Some of them do.
Undoubtedly.
And then there's this:-
And that's not all there is. No, you also get the pattern for an equally-ravishing festive boa. And all emailed to you direct for the bargain price of just $6. That's just over £3, people!!
If your family chooses to dress rather more formally than this at Christmas, all is not lost. How about this Sexy Turkey Hat for Thanksgiving? (The back view is particularly special, I'm sure you'll agree.)
Oh. By the way. Anyone suspected of covertly knitting any of these items for me would do well to remember that I have a variety of sturdy walking sticks at my disposal, and that I'm not afraid to use them.
But, y'know, if you're going to actually be making all the presents for your nearest and dearest rather than hurtling, credit card in hand, like a thing possessed through Marks & Spencer at 5.25 pm on Christmas Eve, then you'll need to start planning early. And you'll need to seek out appropriate patterns.
Knitting patterns, possibly.
For, oo, I dunno ... hats, maybe?
I mean, who wouldn't want a knitted hat in their Christmas stocking? Hats which have been lovingly hand-crafted out of wool have the dual blessing of being both warm and attractive.
Um.
Well.
They can do.
Some of them do.
Undoubtedly.
And then there's this:-
And that's not all there is. No, you also get the pattern for an equally-ravishing festive boa. And all emailed to you direct for the bargain price of just $6. That's just over £3, people!!
If your family chooses to dress rather more formally than this at Christmas, all is not lost. How about this Sexy Turkey Hat for Thanksgiving? (The back view is particularly special, I'm sure you'll agree.)
Oh. By the way. Anyone suspected of covertly knitting any of these items for me would do well to remember that I have a variety of sturdy walking sticks at my disposal, and that I'm not afraid to use them.
The Editor
posted by
Lady Bracknell | Friday, September 07, 2007
13 Comments:
Oh... My... God...
Where DO you find these things?
Ah, you too can have a talent like mine...
All it takes is for you to be too feeble physically to dash about doing stuff, and too blurred mentally by the meds you're on to be able to read anything serious.
Mindlessly scrolling through pages and pages of (mostly lovely) Etsy offerings is about all I'm fit for at the moment.
Eeek! Muuuummmmy!! Scary lady (?) in very scary wig
Is that a blonde wig she's wearing under that Etsy confection?
p.s.
To answer a question from an earlier thread....one of my favourite films is the Italian Job (the Original, mind).......
I know people who would think that was the best hat ever (they tend to go skiing and indulge in silly-hat competitions).
I was at the supermarket the other day and saw a display of cut-price disposable barbecues next to a display of "seasonal" calendars (we used to call them advent calendars). I am trying to get the picture off my phone so I can upload it but it doesn't want to behave.
But are the sort of people who ski also the sort of people who knit...?
The gentlemen in question don't knit.
I don't ski.
We could possibly come to an arrangement.
Ah, I see...
Should such an arrangement be made, please (please, please) don't let the hat go without taking lots of photographs of it.
I can knit, but I can't ski. I am as sportive as an ironing board.
The ginger-bread-house-tea-cosy is my favourite. It's really tempting...
That's me that is!!
Mone, I agree. It's rather sweet.
Novelty knitting can be lots of fun as long as its restricted to items like tea cosies where there is no risk of people turning in the street and pointing and laughing... ;-)
Marmite Boy,
What's you?
The hat?
The skiing?
The wearing of novelty hats whilst skiing?
Or the wearing of blonde wigs whilst being photographed?
All of them. I'm very versatile.
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