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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Friday, September 07, 2007

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...

Ok, ok, so we're barely into September. And I shouldn't be mentioning the 'C' word for at least another three months.





But, y'know, if you're going to actually be making all the presents for your nearest and dearest rather than hurtling, credit card in hand, like a thing possessed through Marks & Spencer at 5.25 pm on Christmas Eve, then you'll need to start planning early. And you'll need to seek out appropriate patterns.






Knitting patterns, possibly.






For, oo, I dunno ... hats, maybe?






I mean, who wouldn't want a knitted hat in their Christmas stocking? Hats which have been lovingly hand-crafted out of wool have the dual blessing of being both warm and attractive.






Um.






Well.



They can do.





Some of them do.





Undoubtedly.











And then there's this:-





And that's not all there is. No, you also get the pattern for an equally-ravishing festive boa. And all emailed to you direct for the bargain price of just $6. That's just over £3, people!!



If your family chooses to dress rather more formally than this at Christmas, all is not lost. How about this Sexy Turkey Hat for Thanksgiving? (The back view is particularly special, I'm sure you'll agree.)


Oh. By the way. Anyone suspected of covertly knitting any of these items for me would do well to remember that I have a variety of sturdy walking sticks at my disposal, and that I'm not afraid to use them.


The Editor

13 Comments:

Blogger Kerrio said...

Oh... My... God...

Where DO you find these things?

8:04 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Ah, you too can have a talent like mine...

All it takes is for you to be too feeble physically to dash about doing stuff, and too blurred mentally by the meds you're on to be able to read anything serious.

Mindlessly scrolling through pages and pages of (mostly lovely) Etsy offerings is about all I'm fit for at the moment.

8:09 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

Eeek! Muuuummmmy!! Scary lady (?) in very scary wig

8:39 pm  
Blogger pete said...

Is that a blonde wig she's wearing under that Etsy confection?

p.s.
To answer a question from an earlier thread....one of my favourite films is the Italian Job (the Original, mind).......

8:54 am  
Blogger Mary said...

I know people who would think that was the best hat ever (they tend to go skiing and indulge in silly-hat competitions).

I was at the supermarket the other day and saw a display of cut-price disposable barbecues next to a display of "seasonal" calendars (we used to call them advent calendars). I am trying to get the picture off my phone so I can upload it but it doesn't want to behave.

9:01 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

But are the sort of people who ski also the sort of people who knit...?

10:03 am  
Blogger Mary said...

The gentlemen in question don't knit.
I don't ski.

We could possibly come to an arrangement.

8:57 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Ah, I see...

Should such an arrangement be made, please (please, please) don't let the hat go without taking lots of photographs of it.

11:02 am  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

I can knit, but I can't ski. I am as sportive as an ironing board.
The ginger-bread-house-tea-cosy is my favourite. It's really tempting...

12:46 pm  
Blogger marmiteboy said...

That's me that is!!

12:46 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Mone, I agree. It's rather sweet.

Novelty knitting can be lots of fun as long as its restricted to items like tea cosies where there is no risk of people turning in the street and pointing and laughing... ;-)

12:52 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Marmite Boy,

What's you?

The hat?

The skiing?

The wearing of novelty hats whilst skiing?

Or the wearing of blonde wigs whilst being photographed?

12:53 pm  
Blogger marmiteboy said...

All of them. I'm very versatile.

12:03 pm  

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