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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Lady who?

After a very tiring four days back at work, I was chuffed to little mintballs (er, that'll be a Northern expression, then) to find myself awake at 5.50 this morning. Really. I could hardly contain my joy. Because it's not as though I'm short of sleep, or anything. No. Perish the thought.

Anyhoo, I received an email from a journo back in May on the Hotmail account to which there is a link from this blog. It's not my main email account by any stretch of the imagination, and I don't check it all that often. So, sadly, I didn't read this particular email on the day it was sent. Which is a shame because, in order to include my two penn'orth* in the article she was putting together, the journo would have needed to speak to me that day.

Read it and weep:-

"I am a reporter at the Trumpton Times** newspaper. I am writing a story at the moment about the manorial title "The Lordship of the Manor of Bracknell in Wargrave" as it has recently come under the hammer through X and Y auctioneers. The sale was on Thursday 24 May and because it failed to reach it's (sic) reserve price no-one has bought it. I am trying to do two things at the moment. Firstly I want to contact the current owner of the title to find out why they are selling it etc and secondly I want to speak to people who might be interested in buying it and what their reasons for this would be. I realise it is a long shot but I have been googling the title and it came up with your blog. I would love to talk to you as you obviously have an interest in the title and could maybe shed some light on it or perhaps explain why you like the title and if you would like to own it etc."

The Editor

*Although, in all honesty, I'm not entirely sure that, "Please tell me that this is a joke and that you really do know that Lady Bracknell is a fictional character. Oscar Wilde? Heard of him at all?", would have been printed.

**Not really. I've changed the name of the paper subtly so that you wouldn't be able to identify the journo if you took it into your head to do so.


Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

Steps back in amazement (and admiration)! 4 days work, Blog writing, guest blogging, & gets up at 5.50am on a Saturday! How does she do it?

Dame Honoria has no problem awakening at an early hour on a Saturday, it's Monday to Friday that are the problem! Fortunately Buster is always on hand (and stomach, head, chest) to help.

11:15 am  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Ah, but: everything of mine which has been published on Ouch so far was written before I went back to work.

And the last two posts on here are just the product of an extremely annoying inability to either get off to sleep in the first place, or stay asleep as long as I need to.

12:10 pm  
Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I was being kind of ironic, as I often get up early but it's not through choice, more because lying down got too painful, and I suspected it was similar for you.

I am genuinely admiring of your stamina (if that's the right word) and am glad to see the Tramadol/pain induced fog seems to be clearing. I mean that in a totally non-patronising way, I can't stand people doing the "lookit da brave crip, ain't it amazing the way she manages to breathe 'n' stuff" thing to me.

3:05 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Indeed. It's the pain wot does it.

If there's too much going on in my head for me to get to sleep relatively speedily, my two possible sleeping positions quite quickly become too painful to maintain.

So I have to get up and play on the computer until those bits of me have been persuaded that they've had sufficient change of scene.

And I do think it's the move to Tramadol which accounts for the early mornings. NSAIDs build up in your bloodstream and tide you over: opioids clearly don't.

But yes, thank you: the worst of the fog has definitely cleared. And hurrah for that, say I!

5:53 pm  
Blogger Elizabeth McClung said...

wait a minute....are you trying to say that Oscar Wilde wrote...fiction? Please clarify!

Congrats on the guest blogging on Ouch, I think you and goldfish are just what the place needs (more scarcasm!)

11:47 pm  

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