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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Lady Bracknell is in high dudgeon

The following epistle to a company which supplies electricity (some details have been changed to protect the true location of Bracknell Towers from the hordes of sightseers who would doubtless otherwise descend upon it) will, Lady Bracknell is confident, explain her current displeasure:



"Dear Sir or Madam,


I have received a letter from you today which demonstrates that you are, for reasons which are unfathomable to me, labouring under the delusion that I am the owner of 2 X Ave, Liverpool, Lxx xxx.


The only property I own is Bracknell Towers. I appreciate that this shares a post code with 2 X Ave, but see no reason why this should have led you to assume that I am some kind of property magnate.


2 X Ave is currently unoccupied. It is a large Victorian property which has been split up into flats. The owner (to whose name and address details I am unfortunately not privy) has for some months been renovating the property with a view to renting the flats out again at a higher spec once the work has been completed.


I do not appreciate receiving utilities demands for neighbouring properties and would therefore appreciate it if you could confirm by return of post that you have removed my name from the records you hold for 2 X Ave.



Yours sincerely,




Lady Bracknell"



If Lady Bracknell were in the fortunate position of owning a number of properties and receiving a substantial rental income from that investment, then she would not jib at paying the electricity bills. But to be threatened with a large bill for a property which she does not own rather adds insult to injury, given that she has been subjected to the noise of builders and their radios from that quarter for the better part of twelve months.

3 Comments:

Blogger ke`chara{BP} said...

Lady Bracknell,

Something similar happened to us (we also live in flats) about a year ago; at one point the gas company was sending us so many bills we had no idea who was responsible for what and it turned out to be a demand for all four flats joined together!!

if the utility company is idiotic enough to persist in a demand for payment from you, may i suggest that you get the govt watchdog involved - ofgas or similar (as you don't say which utility it is) - they may be able to intervene on your behalf.

i wish you luck in sorting this out - it took us the best part of 8 months to sort ours out..

regards,

ke`chara

1:50 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell now realises that her editing of the letter to preserve anonymity has given the erroneous impression that Bracknell Towers is part of 2 X Ave.

Bracknell Towers (which was constructed in the 1930s) is next door to the offending property.

Which makes the fact that the utilities company has concluded that she must own the property an unfathomable mystery.

Lady Bracknell realises that this may take some time to sort out. But she suspects the utilities company may come to rue the day that they attempted to bill her for energy (their letter does not make it clear whether they are referring to gas or electricity) which she has not used.

6:01 pm  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Some people seem to make renovating property a way of life in itself. A gentleman in my vicinity has been building himself a conservatory for the past two years, at least, according to my computation.

Said work seems to consist of wheel-barrowing loads of hard-core from the front garden to the back garden and back again. The conservatory has yet to rise above its foundations, and the gardens have not at all been improved by the forcible addition of old bricks, cement shards and the like.

However , he seems to enjoy himself.

8:04 pm  

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