.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

My Photo
Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A futile gesture

Recently, every time I have trudged into Tesco after work, I have been presented with, in addition to my till receipt, a further flimsy piece of paper offering me £3 off the next time I spend £30.

Whilst this is kind of Tesco, and I appreciate the offer, they do appear to be confusing me with someone who can actually lift £30-worth of groceries.

Given that I have all the heavy and/or non-perishable stuff delivered by that nice Mr Sainsbury every so often, my trips to the local Tesco generally involve buying bread, milk and fresh veg. Bread is, I suppose, not inordinately heavy. But add two pints of milk - or whatever the equivalent is in new money - and several days' worth of vegetables, and goods to the value of less than £10 can easily be about as much as my weedy back is happy to carry.

Having given the matter some thought, I accede that Tesco does sell some things which are relatively light in weight. Unfortunately, they tend not to be things for which I would have much, if any, use. £30-worth of cotton wool balls, for example, would last me until the end of time. Ditto boxes of matches. And, whilst £30-worth of loo roll probably isn't impossibly heavy, it takes up so much space that I would have to wrap myself up in it like a mummy in order to carry it home.

So it looks as though I'm going to be unable to redeem my generous £3 discount (£3 - imagine!!). Unless, of course, anyone has any inspired suggestions.

('Learn to drive', by the way, does not constitute an inspired suggestion for the purposes of this blog post. Just so's you know.)

The Editor


Anonymous SphinxQueen said...

Moisturiser, fancy-schmancy cleanser, that kinda stuff. £30 gone in no time at all.

You're welcome. (Looks at floor modestly.)

11:52 pm  
Blogger Mary said...


Well, the first things that came to mind was, do you know any smokers? £30 of cigarettes can be dangled from one finger. But tobacco products might be exempt.

My second thought was DVDs or other electrical/homeware type goods, but they might be excluded too.

So I think what I would do with it is buy £30 (or possibly even £40) of normal grocery shopping, and think of the £3 not as money off the shopping, but as money towards a taxi-fare home. I don't know what things are like in your neck of the woods, but here, that would bring the taxi-fare down to just £2 which, for me (and putting aside the spoon-expenditure for getting around the store) would be a worthwhile price for the advantages of store-shopping over online-shopping, such as being able to choose my own fresh produce, take advantage of in-store offers, exercise my own judgement rather than best-guessing the use-by dates, and so on.

8:07 am  
Anonymous Gary Miller said...

Learn to...oh bugger, just read the last bit.

As ever Lady B, you have again brought a smile to my weary face, for which I thank you! :)

Have you given any thought to £30 worth of crackers for cheese? Should be light enough to carry...mind you, then you'd need the cheese to go with them...

Nice post...:)

11:16 am  
Blogger Optistatic said...

£30 of toilet paper? Reminds me of my student days. As a matter of fact, £20 of toilet paper, in large multi-packs, is enough to last two people one academic year. It also provokes quite a reaction from the person behind the till. Especially when one's housemate is behind one in the queue and has very similar, if more modest, ideas about not running out of toilet paper any time soon. Happy days.

How about £30 of Green and Black's milk chocolate? It should sit happily within a rucksack. What? I regularly spend £30 on chocolate. That gets funny looks, also.

11:11 pm  
Blogger stopbeingstupid said...

£30 worth of DVDs probably wouldn't weigh too much.

4:02 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

Moisturiser, cleanser - would last me as long as the cotton balls. I didn't get this face by cleansing and moisturising, you know...

Fags are excluded. Ditto, I think, bottles of gin.

Not an enormous fan of cheese crackers, although good point about them being light.

Mmmm, chocolate. Chocolate and DVDs - even better. Mind you, would leave me £30 down in my grocery budget. Still, who needs a month's worth of bread and milk when they can have chocolate...? ;-)

5:53 pm  
Blogger laughing said...

I realize that I'm a little late to the discussion, but you hadn't posted anything for a while, and I had stopped looking for a bit.

I was thinking that this might be a good time to stock up on over the counter medications (if in fact you are allowed to use much in the way of over the counter medications in addition to your prescription drugs). In a couple of months a lot of us will catch colds and be in danger of getting the flu and pneumonia and all of that. So you can stock up now on your cold and flu remedies and asprin and such. Or, if you take vitamins and herbal supplements, you can buy some of those. I'm afraid some of these little bottles would put quite a dent in $30.

12:41 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home