Have you seen yourself retreating?*

Lady Bracknell has long grieved over the petticoat's fall from favour of recent years and the unwelcome consequence, particularly in the summer months, that a lady's nethermost undergarments are a frequent assault upon the eyes of those who, as a result of their delicate breeding, were not brought up to anticipate such visions.

Until today, Lady Bracknell had believed this phenomenon to be largely restricted to those of relatively tender years.

Unfortunately, she now discovers that she was mistaken.

If there is a more unpleasant sight than the rear view of a scrawny woman of very late middle age wearing a semi-transparent white linen shirtwaister frock over what is referred to in common parlance as a "thong", Lady Bracknell has no desire to be exposed to it.


(Lady Bracknell, who chooses her words with great care as a general rule, has immediately regretted her use in the preceding paragraph of the word, "exposed". As a result of that one careless choice, she is now experiencing what she believes are known as "flashbacks". Said flashbacks are not proving helpful to her digestion.)





*Ogden Nash