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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Have you seen yourself retreating?*

Lady Bracknell has long grieved over the petticoat's fall from favour of recent years and the unwelcome consequence, particularly in the summer months, that a lady's nethermost undergarments are a frequent assault upon the eyes of those who, as a result of their delicate breeding, were not brought up to anticipate such visions.

Until today, Lady Bracknell had believed this phenomenon to be largely restricted to those of relatively tender years.

Unfortunately, she now discovers that she was mistaken.

If there is a more unpleasant sight than the rear view of a scrawny woman of very late middle age wearing a semi-transparent white linen shirtwaister frock over what is referred to in common parlance as a "thong", Lady Bracknell has no desire to be exposed to it.


(Lady Bracknell, who chooses her words with great care as a general rule, has immediately regretted her use in the preceding paragraph of the word, "exposed". As a result of that one careless choice, she is now experiencing what she believes are known as "flashbacks". Said flashbacks are not proving helpful to her digestion.)





*Ogden Nash

4 Comments:

OpenID diddums said...

Hear hear!
Petticoats and slips are much underrated these days...

10:53 pm  
Blogger Boogaloo Dude said...

Bring back the liberty bodice

And passion killers!

Anything which helps to keep the "mighty crayon" under control!!

"Nurse, the screens..."

1:00 pm  
Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

It is Lady Bracknell's considered opinion that one glimpse of the scrawny rear end bisected by little more than a length of twine would have kept even the most lively of crayons under control for a very considerable period of time.

1:12 pm  
Blogger Boogaloo Dude said...

Would the offender be, by any chance, the infamous "Jurassic Tart" of our mutual acquaintance?

8:22 pm  

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