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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Lady Bracknell's Achilles' heel

Lady Bracknell feels it incumbent upon her to give her readers due warning that, should they ever be experiencing paratendonitis of their Achilles tendon, and should their osteopathic practitioner therefore be attempting to disperse the inflammation by pushing it upwards with his thumbs, the process will undoubtedly smart a bit.

It will smart so much, in fact, that they may find themselves uttering phrases such as, "You, sir, are no longer my friend!" and "Don't expect a Christmas box from Bracknell Towers this year!".

Fortunately, the osteopathic gentleman has grown accustomed over the years to the sort of threats which Lady Bracknell utters when the treatment is more than ordinarily painful. He knows that, although she speaks in earnest at the time, she has too much faith in him, and owes too much to his skills, ever to voluntarily remove her name from his list of patients.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a fellow sufferer with her ladyship, albeit I use a chiropractor rather than an osteopath, my medical man finds it advisable to invite me to sit on my hands at certain key points in the treatment.... I bow to her ladyship's reserve in resorting to verbal admonishment only and recognise this as being the gulf that divides the aristocracy from the oiks.

1:56 am  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

I have never undergone the experience adumbrated by Lady Bracknell; I have, however, employed the services of a burly lady Reflexologist, whereby I discovered that I also have arthritis in the joints of my feet, if you will excuse me mentioning them.

This makes the manipulation of the important areas quite exciting, and indeed noisy upon occasion.

7:25 pm  
Blogger Wilf said...

I think I must be an oik because if someone hurts me more than normal I quite like to hit them.

9:45 pm  

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