Ding dong, the witch is dead
The first, and more important, is currently a secret known only to a chosen few. Lady Bracknell would not want to jinx anything by revealing the news publicly in an overly-precipitate manner. However, all things being equal, her regular readers will not need to remain on tenterhooks for more than a couple of days.
The seond relates to a most unpleasant neighbour.
Bracknell Towers is less palatial than its nomenclature might perhaps imply. Lady Bracknell, as has been mentioned earlier in these pages, has latterly fallen on hard times financially and can no longer afford to keep herself in the lavish style to which she was once accustomed.
Far from being the opulent, detached property set in rolling, verdant grounds designed by Capability Brown - complete with deer park - which regular readers may have envisaged, Bracknell Towers is one of a purpose-built block of four apartments constructed in the 1930s. Bracknell Towers itself is a charming property, with many delightful period features. But it could not, by any stretch of the imagination, be described as large.
Since moving herself and her household into the current Bracknell Towers in 1995, Lady Bracknell's life has been blighted by the presence of a decidedly illbred and surly young woman in the next apartment.
So unfamiliar is this young person with the forms of common courtesy that it seems not to have occurred to her to inform her immediate neighbours that she was moving out: the first indication given to the other residents was the noisy removal of various large items of furniture yesterday evening.
The other residents conferred in a hushed and somewhat furtive manner by telephone. Was this what it looked like? Their hopes had been raised in just such a manner on a number of previous occasions. It was, they concluded regretfully, not beyond the bounds of possibility that old furniture was being moved out so that new furniture could be moved in. They would maintain a watching brief and keep in touch with one another.
One incident this morning served both to confirm this young woman's long-overdue departure and to relieve Lady Bracknell from any necessity of describing her general character and deportment at length in this blog entry: Lady Bracknell returned from a professional engagement to discover that the young woman's father had disconnected and removed the doorbell to the apartment she was vacating.
Lady Bracknell will leave her readers to form their own conclusions about the desirability of living cheek by jowl with a person who would stoop to behave in such a manner.