Getting legless with Trinny and Susannah
"What Not To Go Through
Fashion presenters Trinny and Susannah are making a programme for ITV about couples that have been through a life-changing experience.
They are particularly interested in subjects who have experienced limb loss, with the aim of helping others to deal with these issues."
(There is a telephone number and an email address for those interested in taking part, but Lady Bracknell will not repeat them here. They can be found on page 176 of the Teletext service.)
Lady Bracknell, who has only ever seen Trinny and Susannah bullying some hapless soul into throwing 95% of his or her wardrobe into a handy skip, confesses that she is somewhat surprised to learn of their new-found interest in disability issues. She cannot help but suspect that the greater part of the programme will be devoted not to the fact that one's partner considers one's loss of limb to be neither here nor there, but to being told how to dress in such a way that one's stump/prosthesis is disguised from view.
In any event, Lady Bracknell would personally rather clothe herself in garments fashioned from used coal sacks than submit to having her capacious bosom publicly manhandled by either Trinny or Susannah.