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The collected opinions of an august and aristocratic personage who, despite her body having succumbed to the ravages of time, yet retains the keen intellect, mordant wit and utter want of tact for which she was so universally lauded in her younger days. Being of a generation unequal to the mysterious demands of the computing device, Lady Bracknell relies on the good offices of her Editor for assistance with the technological aspects of her journal.

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Location: Bracknell Towers

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

An unwelcome development

An aristocrat of Lady Bracknell's gentle breeding and sensitive disposition really ought not to be subjected to sights such as this one when innocently calling her errant kitten in from his playful romp in the back garden:

Admittedly, the Editor's camera has an impressively powerful zoom facility which, combined with the cropping function from the associated software, manages to give the impression that this window is rather closer to Bracknell Towers than is actually the case. Nevertheless, the offending creatures are clearly visible from Lady Bracknell's back door.

Given that none of them has moved in the last twenty four hours, it is probably reasonably safe to assume that they are merely models of something long-leggedy and repellent. However, it would not do to be complacent: Lady Bracknell will be keeping a keen eye out for any suspicious behaviour.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although two years ago she wouldn't go on any rides, my youngest (14) has just returned from a 'fact-finding' trip to Alton Towers. There she went on everything, including the dreaded 'Ripsaw' which I remember from my last visit years ago.

Yet she's still afraid of spiders! Despite having the surname of someone apparently saved by watching one!

Although I quite understand why a window displaying these, and other, creatures should fill your Ladyship with disquiet, try living near people whose barking dogs disturb every waking hour!

Even Young Master Bertram would consider them a 'woof too far'!
Angie xx

1:15 pm  
Blogger Bank Of Doge said...

My Dearest Lady Bracknell,

What no net curtains on the window in question? Bally riff-raff eh?

Kindest Regards
Lord G

12:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since the arrival of Buster the Burmese Hooligan in the Glossop household, we have not seen a single spider indoors. I do hope he is not related to Lord Voldemort.

8:35 am  
Blogger seahorse said...

A smallish child, or stoned student, delights in these rolling down the window. This enjoyment can continue for months.

11:56 pm  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

I used to have sugar cubes, which - once they have melted in good hot cup of tea - would release a little plastic spider. It then soared up and was floating on the suface.
Not that I would ever have dared playing such a nasty prank on an aristocratic Lady. I have only mentioned it to point out that things can always be worse...
But tell your cats to stay away from these people, just to be on the safe side!

5:43 pm  
Blogger Trump said...

Technically, those spider things are house jewellery, which in my book is defined as things on other people's houses that offend me. My neighbours have 400 butterflies and 20 wind chimes. The irritation is akin to chicken pox. House jewellery should go to room 101 along with obnoxious doctors, sprouts and plinky plonky jazz.

12:34 am  

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